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4th Sunday in
Ordinary Time, Cycle C
St. John the Evangelist,
Frederick, MD
February 3, 2013
Growing into God’s Call for
Us
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P.
Amato
Bonheoffer’s Outer Self and
Inner Self
Dietrich
Bonhoeffer was a Lutheran pastor and prisoner at Flossenburg Concentration Camp
in Bavaria, Germany where the Nazis executed him in 1945.
In
a poem written from his prison cell Bonhoeffer speaks of the battle that is
being waged within him as he attempts to heed the call of God.
“Who am I? They often tell
me I stepped from my cell’s confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a
Squire from his country house.
They tell me I used to speak
with my warden freely, friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command.
They also tell me I bore the
days of misfortune equably, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win.
Am I what others tell of me
or am I only what I know of myself? That I’m restless, longing and sick …
struggling … powerlessly trembling … weary and empty …
Who am I? This (within) or the other (without)?
They mock me, these lonely
questions of mine. Whoever I am, you know, O God, I am yours!”
Bonheoffer’s Deepest Self
Bonheoffer’s
poem helps us get clear about who we really are.
It sets
within us an inner anchor of understanding about who I am (deepest level), in spite of my emotions or feelings (next level), so I can act with calm and
understanding as I live each day (top
level), no matter what the challenges.
It’s
as if there are three levels of awareness for Bonhoeffer: his calm exterior
before his Nazis guards, his inner turmoil, and his deepest self that is able
to pray, “Whoever I am, you know, O God,
I am yours!”
It
was this deepest self that knew, no matter what might happen to him or how he
felt about his ever-changing circumstances, that he belonged to God and God belonged
to him.
Jeremiah’s Empowerment
Jeremiah
also knew he belonged to God and God to him and we see it in the opening lines
of the first reading where God is speaking: “Before
I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a
prophet to the nations I appointed you.”
So
at our deepest level of existence we are known, dedicated and appointed by God.
(1)
That reality continues no matter what the inner turmoil, no matter what the
challenges we face.
(2)
But that reality also gives us a ground on which to stand, a place from which
to move, move through our emotions and into life-giving choices.
Application
This
reality applies to whatever hand life has dealt us.
We
may be in a job or career path that we don’t like or find troublesome. Instead
of simply reacting without thinking, I can move from my deepest sense of self
as knowing
how much God loves me and empowers me with my talents and
personality traits to deal with the situation.
Or
perhaps an illness or tragedy has touched the health of a loved one. Rather
than moving from emotions of anger or self-pity, I can come from the assurance
that God has dedicated me or given me this particular task of caring
for another.
Finally,
our family life may be filled with the challenges of raising children, making
time for each other, or forgiveness. Rather than a sense of hopelessness and
doing nothing, it could be empowering to have the assurance that at our deepest
level we were appointed by God to be the parent in this family.
Conclusion
The
struggles and conflicts will come for us, just as surely as they came for Dietrich
Bonhoeffer and Jeremiah.
The
inner turmoil will also be there.
And
today we know God’s Word of assurance regarding who we really are. That will
serve us well.
