Weekly SUMMER SNIPPETS for August 26, 2012: Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

Summer Snippets: Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

            Originally I was going to call this final Summer Snippet “A Fond Farewell to Friends,” for my last Mass here will be this Friday and Father Chuck returns from his sabbatical next weekend. “Farewell” somehow did not feel right since it implies a decided end. There was something too final about that. What I did experience, as I put pen to paper, was a deep sense of gratitude both to Father Chuck for inviting me to serve these three months and for your wonderfully warm welcome. But the feelings of gratitude only begin there.

Celebrating Eucharist, Baptisms, Reconciliation, Anointing, and daily Mass in the Stone Chapel gave me individual and communal ways to greet, worship and heal as one among you.

Meetings with the Staff, Finance Committee, Parish Corporators, and Pastoral Council gave me a bird’s eye view of why this is such an effective parish.

Watching so many of you carry food on Sunday mornings to the basement of the Stone Chapel, attending the installation of officers for the Knights of Columbus, hosting Father Christophe from Haiti, going to the JIF play, and visiting with Diane as she created the setting for Summer Bible School gave me a first hand view of some of the many volunteers and great ministries that are here in the parish. I regret that I wasn’t able to accept the invitation to lunch with the senior group every Monday, since I have spiritual direction sessions on Mondays and Tuesdays in Silver Spring.

Doughnut Sundays, monthly New Parishioner Welcome Breakfasts, weekly Bingo, Luau, and the parish picnic this weekend showed me how much you enjoy socializing with each other. However, what I’ve enjoyed most perhaps is greeting you before and after Mass each weekend, for it gave me time to meet one-on-one the hundreds who come to Sunday Mass and as well as an appreciation of the diversity that there is among you, a diversity in culture, background, age, physical abilities, and economic standing. And to see that all are welcome, all belong, was such a gift for which to be grateful.

Speaking of being grateful, each evening before putting out the light I generally review the day’s activities and try to name three things for which I am grateful that day. I make an effort to search for little things. For example last evening’s were: I was grateful for someone who rarely smiles and who greeted me with a warm one, or the fact the rain held out in the early morning until after my jog, or that a rescheduled appointment opened up an hour for me to do something else that needed tending. After only a few months of this practice it began to bear fruit. Two things became evident.

First, I began to surface smaller and smaller things for which to be grateful, things I would have never considered before – the shimmering of a tree’s leaves in the sunlight, a used Coke can thrown on the rectory lawn by a passerby that became an occasion to be grateful that I could even bend over to pick it up, or the sky-blue pink of the sky as the sun set a few hours ago.

Second, I begin to notice little blessings in the moment so I can note them and savor the experience right while it is taking place. That is a much fuller and richer experience than simply recalling it later that evening. I am always struck at how much time and effort we put into taking pictures on a vacation and how we look at the picture after the event is over rather than enjoying the event while it is taking place. Being “in the moment” is a heck of a lot more exciting than being “in the memory.” Recalling things that happened in the course of the day will help you do that. So I spend a fair amount of time now trying to be mindful and alert, noting what’s going on around me. I try to thank God for it on the spot and then savor the present moment’s experience.

Speaking of savoring reminds me of how I came to value the experience of savoring. Growing up, my family would have been called “under-classed.” There was not a whole lot of money available to us for extras and while we never went to bed hungry we ate lots of chicken and lots of pasta. The only desert we had during the week was fruit and on Sunday it was always cheesecake from “Custom Bakers” in Island Park, Long Island. My mother always made sure that we ate the cheesecake slowly and not drink water with it for that washed down the flavors that filled our mouths. We had to eat it s-l-o-w-l-y very s-l-o-w-l-y, savoring each small forkful. So I learned early how to savor. Each moment, if savored in this way, would have us see God at work in our lives and we, experiencing gratitude for that working. While I am not yet able to do it, I could see how eventually my whole day could become a blessing-in-the-moment.

As I take my leave to return to leading contemplative retreats and parish missions full-time, I invite you to join me in gratitude for our paths having crossed here at the altar of St. Francis De Sales. I am so much the richer for your love and support and our shared experiences. May God continue to hold you and your loved ones in the palm of his hand.

With love and gratitude,

                        Father Nicholas

PS. Retreats, parish missions, weekly homilies and other offerings I am involved in can be found on my FaceBook page “Father Nicholas Amato.”