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Feast of the Holy Family, Cycle C
St.
Mark’s, Fallston, MD
December
30, 2012
A S-P-A-C-E for Families
By
(Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato
Families: Yesterday and Today
In recent decades, family life
has changed a great deal in the United States.
In the past, we pictured the
“typical” family as a mother and father living together with two or three
children. The father would go out to work and the mother would stay home
to care for the children and be the homemaker.
Today, things are very
different. Today, in the majority of families where both parents are
present, both are also going out to work and probably have to do that for
financial reasons.
Today, there are many single
parent families. And today, there are many blended families.
Blended families consist of a
husband and wife who have had children from a previous marriage and now bring
them together and form one new family. This can happen because of the
death of a prior spouse or because of divorce.
Well, with these and other
developments, on this day in honor of the Holy Family, I want to recommend five
specific actions for our families – traditional, single parent, blended,
whatever the case may be for you.
I am grouping these
recommendations by the letters: S—P—A—C—E.
An easy way to remember them is
the acronym SPACE, and perhaps we could entitle this homily as “SPACE for
Families.” So, here goes.
S=Structure
S stands for Structure.
Structure the life of your family in ways that are sensible and that work for
you.
Structure a time for the
children for getting up and going to bed, a time for working and a time for
playing. Structure some responsibility for everyone for the good of the
household, whether for grocery shopping or emptying the trash.
Structure some regular time for
the entire family to be together. And structure certain family rituals,
like birthday celebrations, Christmas Dinner, or visits to grandparents and
other relatives.
P=Pray
P stands for Pray. Pray
in various ways as a part of family life.
For example, pray by inviting
each person to thank God for something at the beginning of a meal
together. Pray a simple bedtime prayer with your children.
Pray by coming to Mass
together. This can be challenging when there are different religious
traditions, but look at this and try to pray by coming to church together
whenever possible.
A=Affirm
A stands for Affirm. It
is important, first of all, for a husband and wife to affirm each other for
something accomplished at work, for looking attractive, or getting a job done
around the house that is taken for granted.
It is important for parents to
affirm children for their strengths and gifts. And it is just as
important not to harp on failures, mistakes, or deficiencies.
It is also important to affirm
by showing affection. Even if you’re not an emotive sort of fellow, exchanging
a hug or a kiss is critical to all members of a family.
C=Communicate
C stands for Communicate.
Communicate to one another your feelings of stress, hurt, pride, or sadness.
To communicate means that I
risk opening up myself to my spouse, my parent or child, my sibling. It
also means that I listen.
To communicate means that I
really try to take in the feelings or ideas of the other person. It means
that I don’t interrupt or simply gear up to say what I want to say while the
other person is speaking.
E=Eat
And E stands for Eat. It
is important for families to eat dinner together.
There is research showing that
eating dinner together creates strong family relationships. The effect of
eating dinner together at least three times a week is remarkable especially on
teens.
Believe it or not, the
incidence of teens resorting to smoking, drinking and drugs is far less when
families eat dinner together.
As challenging as this can be
with today’s lifestyle and schedules, make every effort at eating dinner
together at least three times a week. You will see a difference.
Conclusion
That’s it!
S-P-A-C-E. Structure –
Pray – Affirm – Communicate – Eat.
These five actions will indeed
create SPACE for Families. They will help in the challenging world of
today to have healthy, happy and holy families.
