Weekly HOMILY for May 20, 2012: The Revelation of Rock, Pebbles and Sand

Wedding Ceremony

Sean and Rebecca Ward

B-8, D-2, F-6

May 19, 2012

Holy Trinity Church, Georgetown

The Revelation of Rocks, Pebbles and Sand

By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato

The Mayonnaise Jar

One day a philosophy professor stood in front of his class, holding up a large one-gallon mayonnaise jar.

Without saying a word, he took out a box of rocks, each about two inches in diameter.  He carefully put as many of these rocks into the jar as it would hold.

He then asked the class if the jar was full.  The class agreed that it was.

Then, without saying a word, the professor brought out a box of pebbles.  He gently poured them into the jar, gave the jar a few easy shakes, filling the open spaces between the rocks.

Again, he asked the class if the jar was full.  And again, the class agreed that it was full.

Then, without saying a word, the professor brought out a bag of sand.  He poured the sand around the rocks and pebbles until he had emptied the entire bag; another gentle shake.

All the little spaces between the rocks and pebbles were now full.  The professor then held up the jar.

Rocks, Pebbles, and Sand

He proclaimed: “This is your life.

“The rocks are the important things you experience, things like health and family – whatever means the most to you.  The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job and your house.

“The sand is everything else, the small stuff, if you will. 

Now, consider the fact that, if you put the sand in the jar first, there will be no room for the rocks and pebbles.

“That is, if you focus on the small things in your life, there won’t be any room for the important things.  So pay attention to the things of the heart that really matter and make those your most important and lasting choices.”

Priorities in Marriage

That professor gives us all a valuable lesson today, and a lesson pitched especially for Sean and Rebecca.

ROCKS: Into the jar of your marriage, first place the solid rocks of your relationship as spouses – the qualities Sirach speaks of in describing a gracious wife and a loving husband. Such a relationship will make time for prayerful listening and heartfelt communication; it will allow for a quiet sacred space to share joy and accomplishments, as well as sadness and disappointments. 

It is such a relationship that has allowed you to first get Sean’s company off the ground and in a few years to turn to your career, Rebecca.

PEBBLES: Then, into the jar of your marriage, place the pebbles of careers, money, house, car – we can’t forget motorcycle – and country.

Realize that these material goods are very helpful in building and cementing your marriage, yet they remain the pebbles; they remain secondary.

SAND: And then, with these rocks and pebbles in the jar of your marriage, you will be able to see the sand of extra comforts and luxuries for what they are – as sand, as relatively unimportant.   

And with this perspective of sand, you will also see preferences, petty differences, disagreements and even hurts for what they are – as rather small in the larger scheme of life and as things that can be dealt let go of.

Conclusion

Sean and Rebecca, in our skyping together the past six months, I have come to believe that you already value this sense of priority. Let your vows to each other today confirm that valuing.

The gospel you chose for today admonishes spouses to “Leave father and mother to be joined as one” and it assures us that, “The two of you shall become one flesh.” That union of hearts is on-going and you have made an extraordinary beginning. 

So with these priorities of rocks, pebbles, and sand, and this gospel thought in mind, I invite you now to come forward and exchange vows that will join you to each other.