This and That:
Christian One-Liners to Tickle Your Funny Bone
Here are a few one-liners to tickle you. How many apply to you?
Fondly,
Father Nicholas
➢ Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
➢ Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
➢ Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
➢ It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
➢ The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes close.
➢ When you get to your wits end, you’ll find that God lives there.
➢ People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and back of the church.
➢ Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
➢ Quit griping about your church. If it were perfect, you couldn’t belong.
➢ If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
➢ We are called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
➢ God himself doesn’t propose to judge a person until he is dead. So why should you?
➢ Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
➢ Peace starts with a smile.
➢ I don’t know why some people change churches? What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
➢ A lot of church members singing “Standing on the Promises” are just sitting on the premises.
➢ Be ye fishers of men. You catch ‘em; He’ll clean ‘em!
➢ Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
➢ Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
➢ Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
➢ Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
➢ Forbidden fruits create many jams.
➢ God doesn’t call the qualified; he qualifies the Called.
➢ God grades on the cross, not the curve.
➢ God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts”!
➢ God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
➢ He who angers you, controls you!
➢ If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
➢ Prayer: Don’t give God instructions, just report for duty!
➢ The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
➢ The will of God never takes you to where the grace of God will not protect you.
➢ We don’t change the message; the message changes us.
➢ You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
➢ The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
➢ Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
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