Weekly HOMILY for December 30, 2007: A S-P-A-C-E for Families

Feast of the Holy Family, Cycle A
Our Lady of Grace
December 30, 2007

Form: A S-P-A-C-E for families
Function: To offer listeners concrete ways to improve the quality of their family life

A S-P-A-C-E for Families
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Families: Yesterday and Today

In recent decades, family life has changed a great deal in the United States.

In the past, we pictured the “typical” family as a mother and father living together with two or three children. The father would go out to work and the mother would stay home to care for the children and be the homemaker.

Today, things are very different. Today, in the majority of families where both parents are present, both are also going out to work and probably have to do that for financial reasons.

Today, there are many single parent families. And today, there are many blended families.

Blended families consist of a husband and wife who have had children from a previous marriage and now bring them together and form one new family. This can happen because of the death of a prior spouse or because of divorce.

Well, with these and other developments, on this day in honor of the Holy Family, I want to recommend five specific actions for our families – traditional, single parent, blended, whatever the case may be for you.

I am grouping these recommendations by the letters: S—P—A—C—E.

An easy way to remember them is the acronym SPACE, and perhaps we could entitle this homily as “SPACE for Families.” So, here goes.


S=Structure

S stands for Structure. Structure the life of your family in ways that are sensible and that work for you.

Structure a time for the children for getting up and going to bed, a time for working and a time for playing. Structure some responsibility for everyone for the good of the household, whether for grocery shopping or emptying the trash.

Structure some regular time for the entire family to be together. And structure certain family rituals, like birthday celebrations, Christmas Dinner, or visits to grandparents and other relatives.


P=Pray

P stands for Pray. Pray in various ways as a part of family life.

For example, pray by inviting each person to thank God for something at the beginning of a meal together. Pray a simple bedtime prayer with your children.

Pray by coming to Mass together. This can be challenging when there are different religious traditions, but look at this and try to pray by coming to church together whenever possible.


A=Affirm

A stands for Affirm. It is important, first of all, for a husband and wife to affirm each other for something accomplished at work, for looking attractive, or getting a job done around the house that is taken for granted.

It is important for parents to affirm children for their strengths and gifts. And it is just as important not to harp on failures, mistakes, or deficiencies.

It is also important to affirm by showing affection. Even if you’re not an emotive sort of fellow, exchanging a hug or a kiss is critical to all members of a family.


C=Communicate

C stands for Communicate. Communicate to one another your feelings of stress, hurt, pride, or sadness.

To communicate means that I risk opening up myself to my spouse, my parent or child, my sibling. It also means that I listen.

To communicate means that I really try to take in the feelings or ideas of the other person. It means that I don’t interrupt or simply gear up to say what I want to say while the other person is speaking.


E=Eat

And E stands for Eat. It is important for families to eat dinner together.

There is research showing that eating dinner together creates strong family relationships. The effect of eating dinner together at least three times a week is remarkable especially on teens.

Believe it or not, the incidence of teens resorting to smoking, drinking and drugs is far less when families eat dinner together.

As challenging as this can be with today’s lifestyle and schedules, make every effort at eating dinner together at least three times a week. You will see a difference.


Conclusion

That’s it!

S-P-A-C-E. Structure – Pray – Affirm – Communicate – Eat.

These five actions will indeed create SPACE for Families. They will help in the challenging world of today to have healthy, happy and holy families.