Weekly HOMILY for February 18, 2007: Forgiveness -- The Hardest Thing to Do

7th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Cycle C
Our Lady of Grace
February 18, 2007

Forgiveness: The Hardest Thing to Do
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


What Is Hardest?

I’d like to begin our reflection this morning with a question for you to answer.

What is the hardest thing God has ever asked you to do? (Pause a few seconds.) What is the hardest thing God has ever asked you to do?

Is it letting go of a spouse or child in death? Is it watching someone struggle with a sickness or addiction and feeling completely helpless?

It is caring for an elderly parent who is suffering the ravages of aging?

Or is it perhaps taking Jesus at his word when he says today: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you.”


Is Forgiving the Hardest?

“Yikes!” I know my most difficult; I just heard it from the lips of Jesus. I wonder if, for many of you, the same is not true for you?

Taking Jesus at his word – taking that enemy or the person who has wronged you – and then loving, doing good, blessing, and praying for them.

If it still doesn’t sound difficult, let’s add some names. Maybe the one who’s wronged you is a spouse who has been unfaithful.

Perhaps it is a neighbor has injured your reputation.

Or a relative as I saw in two of my aunts who did not talk to each other for 20 years and they lived next door to one another. When we visited, we had to visit each house separately and not always go to the one house first.

Or what about the 9/11 terrorists who attacked us?

In any of thises situations, the tendency is to say: “Forgiveness, yes, but this forgiveness command does not apply to me in this situation.”

Or, “I have a right not to forgive, the deed is so heinous.” Or, “We need to protect ourselves don’t we?”

There is no question that forgiveness takes strength. It fact it takes real, inner strength to forgive someone who has hurt us, to love those who do not care for us, or to let go of resentment or long-harbored bitterness.

There is no question that we do need to protect ourselves from a hurtful person, from criminals, or terrorists. We need to do this as individuals, as a community, and as a Nation.

But forgiveness – that is, not inflicting or wanting pain for others in retaliation, and being open to reconciliation and peace – this, as hard as it can be, is important.

I see three reasons why it is so crucially important for the quality of our life.


Why Forgiving Is So Important

First, harboring bitterness, anger, and vengeance in the end can kill us. It is like a cancer growing within us.

It consumes and destroys and twists the human spirit beyond recognition. Regardless of what it does to the other person or even the other nation, it does end up chewing up stomach, mind, and spirit and eventually destroying us.

Second, the greatest motive for forgiveness and for letting go of anger, grudges, and bitterness comes from beyond this world. Jesus says today: “Be merciful, as your Father is merciful.”

When we are forgiving, we are God-like, acting like God, being like the One in whose image we are created. When we are forgiving, we are living out of the spirit, that is, the divine life that is within us.

And the third reason why forgiveness is so important is that it connects us with our eternity. Jesus says: “Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

“For the measure you measure with, will in return be measured back to you.” Apparently, our acts of forgiving foreshadow and even shape our eternity.


Conclusion

So yes, forgiveness may be – for many of us in some particular instance – life’s most difficult challenge.

At its root, it is important to remember that forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling. It is an act of our will – to release and to be open to reconciliation with a person who’s wronged us or with an enemy.

It is a decision to respond to such persons with a light that dispels the darkness of resentment and vengeance. It is a decision to set them and us free for better possibilities and will bring us at the very least, peace of mind.