Weekly THIS AND THAT for November 19, 2006: The Potential and Promise of Your Family

This and That:
The Potential and Promise of Your Family

I’d like to begin this week’s note with two questions for you to answer before going on.
The first is, “What is the most important gift you have given your child?” The second is, “What is the most important thing you can do for your spouse?” Give the questions a minute or two before moving on. We’ll come back to the answers in a moment.

You probably have seen that one area of emphasis of Pope Benedict XVI is the importance of the Catholic Family. The Holy Father has made the “family” a key part of his messages as he visits different countries, so he must think the family as important. From his address to the Plenary Assembly of the Pontifical Council for the Family last May he said the following:

➢ “The Lord is the center and heart of the family. He accompanies them in their union and sustains them in their mission to raise children to maturity.”

➢ “The Christian family cooperates with God… in cultivating the seeds of divine life given in Baptism.”

➢ “It is possible for husbands and wives to overcome their difficulties and remain faithful to their vocation with recourse to God’s support, with prayer and participating devotedly in the sacraments, especially the Eucharist.”

➢ “To hand down the faith to children, with the help of individuals and institutions like the parish, the school or Catholic associations, is a responsibility which parents cannot overlook, neglect or completely delegate to others.”

The following are remarks from his address at The Fifth World Meeting of Families this past July:

➢ “The family is the privileged setting where every person learns to give and receive love. The family receives abundant help from God in the sacrament of Matrimony, which brings with it a true vocation to holiness.”

➢ “Reflect on a theme of particular importance, one fraught with great responsibility: the transmission of faith in the family.”

➢ “The language of faith is learned in homes where this faith grows and it is strengthened through prayer and Christian practice.”

As we can see by life around us, there are many threats today to our Catholic families. The messages and attitudes of today’s world cultures encourage behaviors that are often contrary to our traditional Catholic family values. Half of marriages end in divorce. Half of our Country’s population supports abortion. It seems that no one is exempt from knowing someone who has experienced drug abuse, sexual permissiveness, exposure to violence, and spousal or child abuse. All parents and children today face problems seem to be facing daily some challenge such as these in their family life. This is true for the Catholic family as it is for all families. No family seems to be exempt.

I would ask you as a parent to contrast the family environment that your parents raised you in and how much “easier” it was in the “good old days” when values and daily exposures were different. If your youth was like the youth of most other Catholic families – and I’m the first to say that mine was not – you will probably remember that there was more “religious activity” within families. The most common included grace before meals – we actually ate together every day! Some families recited the Rosary and there were many activities to attend. We had Adoration, Benediction, Stations of the Cross, Parish Retreats, Holy Days, Novena Devotions, monthly Confession, and others. Participating in these activities required modeling and “cajoling” on the part of parents.

Today it seems apparent that the pressures on families, coupled with the lack of support in both the public, private, and social sectors of our society, make family life somewhat vulnerable. Studies have shown that as a family’s exposure to faith and religion gets weaker, the second generation from the strong religious influence virtually has no religion. A recent discussion with several parents indicated that many of them felt that their children would have a stronger Catholic faith than they themselves. While this is a wonderful hope, I would ask, “How is this going to happen?”

The Catholic family is the first place for education in God, faith and prayer. It is the unit from which all faith, love, forgiveness, and peace have their roots. It would seem apparent that parents have to jointly nurture these gifts in themselves and also their children. It doesn’t happen by itself and school and parish are not the primary source of this happening. But, as with so many lessons you want to pass on, you cannot nurture and pass on what you do not first have.

At the World Meeting of Families, Pope Benedict made it very clear, “Parishes have an important role to play, as do the various ecclesial associations, called to cooperate as networks of support and a helping hand for the growth of families in faith.”

I am pleased to say that Our Lady of Grace is ready to meet its responsibilities in giving your family more ways to develop stronger relationships with God and enhance your Catholic family values. For parents, in October we began the Why Catholic? program. This is a six-week program and 150 adults in 19 small groups have responded. For our youth, last year we began the Sunday LIFE TEEN program for high school teens. We had a successful first year and we want to make it better and continue to get more of our teens participating. This year we began a new program in Religious Education called “The Edge” for middle school youth. I would encourage all parents to discuss these programs with their children. Help them get more out of them on a more permanent basis. Things talked about at home make lasting impressions.

Another very important program we have begun is one that would get your family praying together in special devotions. This is our monthly “Hour of Family Prayer.” The purpose of these monthly hours of prayer is to get families praying together and to keep traditional Catholic devotions alive in families. On a monthly rotating basis, the devotions include Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, Benediction, the Rosary, Veneration of the Cross, Stations of the Cross, and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Each includes special prayers, meditations, and hymns. They are all familiar devotions. When is the last time you participated in one of them? Do you and your children know them? As spiritually enriching as these devotion sessions have been – just ask anyone who has attended even one – other than the thirty regulars, they have been poorly attended. In only a few instances have young people participated, but here is the written feedback of a middle school girl, “I really felt one with Jesus.”

For parents with an empty nest, the Monthly Hour of Family Prayer would be a wonderful experience for you and your relationship with God and each other. In many families it seems that discussions of God and faith are difficult, and perhaps even embarrassing, either between spouses or between parent and child. Come to our Monthly Hour of Family Prayer and on the way home ask those with whom you came such questions as:

➢ Which part of the Adoration or Benediction meant the most to you?

➢ What mystery of the Rosary got you thinking the most about Jesus?

➢ Which Station of the Cross felt most real to you?

➢ What were you thinking about during the meditations of Christ on the Cross?

You might then follow up the conversation after a few days at the dinner table. I believe that you will be surprised at how easily it is to move by a special prayer moment, and secondly, it will become easier to talk freely about God and your faith. The entire family’s faith will grow as will each member’s relationship with God.

Why not join us on Tuesday the 21st at 7:00pm? This month’s devotion is Benediction.

And now the answers to the two questions with which we began:

1st What is the most important gift you have given your child?

The first is life; the second is his/her life of baptism. Nothing else even comes close. Everything else you have given them is very temporary, no matter if they have it all of their lives and they live to be 100! A hundred years as compared to eternity is miniscule, but with Baptism you have made it possible for them to live forever. Now you have to help your child nurture the benefits of Baptism and this is your responsibility as a parent.

2nd What is the most important thing you can do for your spouse?

I would think that it is to help him/her nurture and grow their faith and relationship with God and thus sanctify your marriage. Most of you are Catholic parents. Any material thing you accumulate in this life on earth will matter little when we pass over to the other side of life. Your relationship with God and how you applied Christian values to your family and life will determine the quality of your life hereafter.

Fondly,
Father Nick Amato