HOMILY for May 26, 2019: 6th Sunday of Easter, Cycle C

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6^th Sunday of Easter, Cycle C

Church of the Nativity

May 26, 2019          

Empowered Conflict Resolution

By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato 

The Branding

There is a story about a family from New York who bought a ranch out in the West where they planned to raise cattle.

Things were moving along okay and then a problem arose. The father, his wife and his sons disagreed on what name to give the ranch.

One day, the father said to some of his neighbors who lived near the ranch: “I wanted to name it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q.

“My one son liked the Flying-W and the other son wanted to name it the Lazy-Y. So, we’re calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.”

The neighbors thought that this was a long and strange name, but didn’t comment on that; instead, one of them asked, “Well, where are all the cattle?” The father replied, “Oh! None of them survived the branding!”

Early Church Conflict 

At the moment we are between two message series. One ended last Sunday and Tom Corcoran begins our new series today at the end of Mass.

So I thought it would be good to give us a quick message in a humorous way of conflict resolution based on today’s first reading. 

The passage is about a disagreement among the early Christians that was more serious than the naming of a ranch. The issue was this.  

Did the non-Jews who wanted to be baptized and become Christian first have to become Jews and accept all the Jewish practices? The issue caused a significant conflict.

The early Christians resolved this disagreement and the way they did it is a good model for us in dealing with the conflicts in our own lives. I see three important ingredients here: (1) Act, (2) Ask, and (3) Appreciate.

1.    Act

First, we need to act. We need to face up to the conflict and not try to sweep it under the carpet, whether that conflict is in our family, our workplace or our social contacts.

The early Christians in today’s first reading acted quickly to address the conflict and heal the rift that was growing. If we don’t do this, the conflict will probably just get worse and become harmful or go underground and affect all our interactions.

That’s basically what happened with the family who disagreed on the name of the ranch and the result was that they ended up with no cattle. I think the Scriptural counsel of Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger,” is another way of telling us to act and deal with a conflict before the sun goes down.

2.    Ask 

The second important ingredient for conflict resolution is to ask for assistance. Sometimes conflicts need discernment from a third party.

Again, today’s Scripture passage says that the whole Jerusalem church participated in working out the disagreement. The lesson here? If the persons directly involved cannot resolve the conflict, the wisdom of others may be needed.

This might include another family member, a trusted friend, or a professional counselor. The point is: let’s be open to ask for the assistance of others when we are not successfully resolving a conflict.    

3.    Appreciate

Finally, the third conflict resolution ingredient is to appreciate the other individuals involved in the conflict. Be respectful of them and try to understand their perspective or point of view.

The Scripture shows the early Christians doing exactly that. So, we need to work on the issue – how late the teens should be allowed to stay out or which household responsibilities will each spouse be responsible for? 

Doing this, we need to stay focused on the issue and not attack each other personally or call each other names, things like that. We need to appreciate each other as persons. 

  

God, the Holy Spirit

So, (1) Act, (2) Ask, and (3) Appreciate – three “A” words for dealing maturely and spiritually with conflicts.

As we do all of this, we also turn to God in prayer. We ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten and guide us.

The early Christians prayed together and, in the end, they were able to testify, “It is the decision of the Holy Spirit and ours too.” That’s how clear they were about God’s presence and grace in what they were doing. You might say they were in the flow.

Now, it will not always be possible to reflect on the Scripture or to pray together with others with whom we are in conflict. But, we can at least do this on our own, privately.

If we do, the chances of resolving a conflict become higher. And the chances are also much higher for experiencing the peace that Jesus offers as his farewell gift in today’s Gospel.

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