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Feast of the Holy Family, Cycle C
Church of the Nativity
December 30, 2018
Frontiers of S-P-A-C-E
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato
The Developing Need for Space
We’re all familiar with a simple fact about childhood growth. An infant begins life in his mother’s arms and immediately begins to wiggle out of those arms. Soon he crawls, then toddles or waddles, walks, and eventually runs.
The movement from arms to running is a trajectory from the isolation of self out into ever broadening circles of space. And space — first physical space that broadens into emotional space, and psychological space, — moving into space is something we all crave, creating larger and larger circles of interaction with the wider world around us.
Families help us do that. Being raised in a family takes much of the danger and risk out of this moving forward in space and relationships. It allows us to become more of who we are through relationships with others, but it does take space.
In today’s Gospel we see the desire of Jesus reaching out to ever widening circles of space and we see how two parents deal with it.
How theydeal with it can help us, who are parents and teachers, coaches and ministers in our parish, give others the space theyneed to reach theirpotential
Jesus’ Need for Space
Let’s look at Jesus’ need for space and his parents’ responses.
Last Tuesday we celebrated Jesus coming as an infant, and in just five days he’s moved through babe-in-arms, to wiggler, crawler, toddler, walker, and runner to the 12-year old we see him as in today’s Gospel account.
The Gospel tells us that the Holy Family is on their way home from the celebration of the Passover in the temple of Jerusalem.
Jerusalem in the south of Palestine to Nazareth in the north, a hefty journey on donkey and foot — 30 hours without a pitstop — and they’re travelling with relatives, neighbors, and friends in a caravan.
Jesus, we hear, hangs back, but his folks are thinking he’s somewhere in the caravan behind them. Not so, we quickly learn, for when they look for him, he’s nowhere to be found. Panic stricken, the two of them leave the protection of the caravan and hurry back to Jerusalem on their own.
After 3 days of worry and frantic searching — imagine 3 days looking for your lost son or daughter — they find him in the temple in the midst of rabbis, listening to them and asking them questions.
This young man of 12 years has moved through lots of space — physical, emotional, and faith development — if you will!
The dialogue is deeply felt: “Why have you done this to us,” sobs Mary.“Your father and I have been worried sick!” Jesus’ reply? “Didn’t you know I must be in my father’s house?”
It’s all about space and relationships, how our family helps us move beyond ourselves and how eventually the space beckons us to move even beyond our family.
However you define your own family, be it traditional, single parent, extended, blended or a couple without children, the idea of space and moving beyond ourselves with the help of our family can help us be more effective family members.
My remarks regarding space are also an acronym — S-P-A-C-E — that makes it easy to remember what your family provides you or you can provide your family as a way of growing in your faith.
Our Need for S-P-A-C-E
“S” is for Structure: The Holy Family travels in a caravan with family, friends and neighbors. They share their food and supplies. They have a common hope to get to Jerusalem and to return home safely. There’s a timetable with stops for water and rest. Your family also needs structure.
“P” if for Pray:Joseph, Mary and Jesus are attending the Passover in Jerusalem in order to pray and worship. They’re doing it together as a family. In making this pilgrimage, they are acknowledging a love they have for God. Once in the temple, they will purchase a pair of pigeons as their offering to God. The prayer, hugging, and hubbub in the outer court of the temple would be like interacting on our own concourse or in the Vision Café before and after Mass.
“A” is for Affirm: Notice Mary, in speaking with Jesus, affirms both her and Joseph’s concern. She might also have said, “We gave you the freedom to wander; we just assumed you’d leave the temple when we all did.”
It is important to affirm our children’s freedom, as well as their responsibilities. Mary, by the way, doesn’t harp on Jesus’ choice to remain back in the temple. My guess is there had to be a hug or two amidst the dialogue for having found him after 3 days of frantic searching. Kids and parents also need to affirm members of their family.
“C” if for Communicate:Both Mary and Jesus express themselves with feelings, as well as with words. Mary does not speak out of anger for having been disobeyed, but out of love and concern. So too does Jesus in his response of having to be about his Father’s business. It’s truly heartfelt. We have to assert ourselves as parents and kids must do the same.
Finally, “E” is for Elevate:Both Jesus and Mary, as a result of their heartfelt dialog, seem to have moved to a higher ground where it hasn’t been a win/lose situation for either of them. It is an outcome that is peaceful and serene, and existing on an elevated plain. The same needs to be practiced in your family.
Jesus has widened his circle of space to respond to the Father’s will. Mary has stepped aside to see here 12-year old do what he must do.
Conclusion
So, SPACE: Structure – Pray – Affirm – Communicate – Elevate.
Five actions that create SPACE for us to grow within our family as kids, spouses and parents. And however we define our family, in the process your family becomes still another holy family.
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