Thursday, May 10, 2018

Funeral HOMILY for Elaine Walters: April 27, 2018

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Funeral Mass for Elaine “Gracie” Walters
St. Francis DeSales Church
April 27, 2018

Yoked with the Lord 
(Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato

Condolences

Ø  To Paul, Gracie’s husband of 51+ years, her best friend, and favorite prayer partner, 
Ø  (To my left)
o   To Paul and Rita
o   Matt and Kristen
o   Jim and Melissa
o   Troy and Joy
o   Michael and Amber
o   To her 14 grandchildren
Ø  (To my right)
o   To Gracie’s brother Bud and Joan
o   Joyce and Dave
o   Greg and Melanie
o   Mary Beth and Bill

We gather as friends and family to stand with you in this time of loss and to join in honoring a wonderful wife, mother, friend, devoted daughter of the Blessed Mother, and faithful follower of Jesus.

Good Yokes

Jesus had a way of taking the ordinary things in the lives of the people of his day and drawing from them lessons for living more caring, loving lives. 

Ordinary things in peoples’ experience became the connectors for getting through tough times to living a new quality of life.

Take for example the double yoke mentioned in today’s Gospel. The yoke held two oxen side-by-side and connected them to the plough or cart they were pulling.

In Jesus’ day, carpenters were judged by the quality of the yokes they made for oxen.

The fit of the yoke to the oxen had to be perfect or it could goad or irritate the animal and thus lessen their ability to carry the load.

This “good fit” is part of Jesus’ being able to say, that, “My yoke is easy, my burden light…”The other part of his being able to say that, is with a double yoke, no ox ploughed alone. And not only did he not plough alone, but the one ox was always paired with an older more experienced ox.

So in short, the lesson they learned from Jesus’ down-to-earth example was: 
(1)  What connected you to your task in life was a good fit for you, 
(2)  You had an experienced side-kick along with you who had been through it all, and 
(3)  There was someone right by your side to help you carry your load.
Quite a lesson for deepening your own spiritual life, I’d say.

Gracie in the Yoke with Us

The image of the double yoke is a good one for understanding Gracie’s relationship to each of us in the loads we have carried. Right there alongside us, in all facets of our life, she added joy, eased burdens, and made a difference. 

Gracie met the challenges of working hard to be the best wife, family member and friend she was capable of being.

She was a wonderful wife. Paul boasts that there was no one else in the world like her. She was a tangible and powerful presence to him 24/7 for their more than 51 years of marriage.

She was respected, loved, and adored by her five sons.  Her relationships with them and their families were always supportive and loving.  

We who claim her as a friend know firsthand her great hospitality, joyful presence, and energetic engagement. Whoever you are, you could say it was always a pleasure being with her at gatherings, at Planet Fitness, or here at Mass at St. Francis. 

You probably know that it was Paul who gave Elaine her nickname Gracie. He got it from The George Burns and Gracie Allen Showthat ran on TV in the early 1950’s. 

You will recall that George played the straight man and Gracie was the whimsical responder to most of his all-knowing statements. In the end of each episode, the tables turned and Gracie came across as the wisdom figure and George the guy that had gotten it all wrong.

Yes, Elaine was Gracie — whimsical, funny, loveable, entertaining, but always full of wisdom and understanding. And you could well imagine when Paul would try to do her one better and called out “Gracie,” she’d respond, “Yes, George.”
  
To all of us, it was such a blessing to be in this double yoke bearing our load in life with such a caring, genteel and loving companion!

Jesus in the Yoke with Elaine

Three years ago Gracie learned that she had gall bladder cancer. And just as she had been at our side, supporting and laboring with us, she would now come to understand the depth of Jesus’ being yoked to her throughout the months and years of her declining health. 

He would be right there, alongside her in her pain and suffering, every inch of the way.

The months passed and her devotion to the Lord and the Blessed Mother deepened as she and Paul prayed with greater love and trust. 

They had always prayed the rosary together, but now they began praying it more often or passing by St. Francis, they would pop into the chapel and pray together.  Their prayers were sustaining each other and the strong assist with the yoke from Jesus’ side could be felt.

Throughout the 3 years of heavy slugging, pulling the load of pain and suffering, Gracie never lost hope. She was a fighter and all at Hospice Care were amazed at how strong this little woman was. 

As Paul told me recently, “She was going to fight all the way until shewas ready to be with her Lord. She was my hero.” 

Conclusion

At the very end she told Paul that she was ready. She couldn’t endure the pain any longer, but before the end, she left each of the six men in her life a letter. To Paul she wrote, “Paul, you were the love of my life.” 

In Gracie’s last hour, Nancy, her hospice nurse and neighbor, peeked in and witnessed an extraordinary scene: Paul and his 5 sons, Paul, Matt, Jim, Troy, and Michaelencircling Gracie’s bed, telling her how much they loved her.

And with that testimony, Gracie made the gentle crossing to the other side of life. 
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