7th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Cycle B
Remarried Couples Retreat
Holy Trinity Retreat Center
February 17, 2012
The Grace of Loving Presence
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato
JERRY AND ANNA
It was Jerry who first noticed the difficulties Anna was having. Fifty-three years of marriage gave him that ability.
He detected in her a loss in memory and concentration, or problems coming up with the right word or the correct name. She began misplacing valuable objects.
He wanted her so much to be healed of this distraction.
Months passed and Anna was now having difficulty in planning dinner for guests, paying bills, or managing the household finances.
So Jerry started to pick up the slack by helping her plan the meals and he willingly took over the checkbook and finances.
Soon it became apparent that Anna was having trouble remembering his name and she needed help dressing so she wouldn’t make a mistake by putting her nightgown over day clothes.
Jerry was there doing whatever it took to support her, which now included the details of toileting.
In the final months, Anna lost her ability to smile or sit up. Her muscles had become rigid and all she could do was simply lay in bed.
At her feet Jerry sat, day in and day out, praying for her, telling her stories of past good times together, and asking God to hold her in his arms.
QUALITIES OF LOVING PRESENCE
Today’s gospel account is a similar story of love and devotion for someone who is very sick. In the actions of the friends of the sick man, we see four traits or characteristics of loving presence.
First, the friends want to get the paralyzed man to Jesus in order to be healed. So they devise a creative plan and use their muscle to make their plan work.
Like Jerry, who wanted Anna to be healed, good friends or good spouses are not self-centered, not stuck in their own self-interest. Instead, their desire is for the health and well-being of the other.
Second, the friends actually pick up the man’s mat and carry him.
Jerry, again like the friends of the paralyzed man, was very quick to pick up the checkbook and oversee the finances, since Anna was no longer able to do them herself.
He did not have to be asked to do this and he didn’t make a big deal of it or call attention to himself in doing it. Out of love he just did what had to be done.
Third, the friends in the gospel readily offer everything they have. They’ve got the idea of lowering their friend through the roof. They’ve got the know-how to remove part of the roof, and the muscle to get their friend up there and lower him carefully to be near Jesus.
Jerry, like the good friends, gives every ounce he’s got to help Anna and she in turn, accepts his caring for her.
Finally, Jerry places Anna totally in God’s hands in much the same way the friends present the paralyzed man to Jesus.
There’s nothing more for him to do with his hands but to pray, to whisper to her how much he loves her, to be present.
CONCLUSION
These four unnamed persons do not even say one word in the Gospel, nor do Jerry or Anna. Yet they give us a profound lesson of the power of love to heal and deliver.
Such love of a spouse is: (1) Not self-centered, but goes out of its way to help the other, (2) Picks up and carries a spouse when he/she is down and out, (3) Gives up whatever is needed to help, and (4) Leads a spouse closer to God.
The gospel continues to be lived out today in the example of Jerry and Anna and they empower us to live it out in our own marriages.
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