Weekly HOMILY for October 4, 2009: How to Treat Wives, Children, and Slaves

27th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
October 4, 2009

How to Treat Wives, Children and Slaves
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Headship in the Family

A topic that often gets a reaction from wives is the teaching about “Headship” within many Fundamentalist Christian communities.

“Headship” is the belief that God ordained that the man be the head of the household and that the woman’s role is subservient to him.

Of course such a value goes against the gifts of women to share that “Headship,” that leadership within the family.

While Jesus’ teaching seems to support male dominance within the home, on closer examination, we see that is really not the case.


Women, Children and Slaves

Texts from Sacred Scripture emerge from a culture that is so far removed from ours and
(1) Need to be examined for what they are. And then
(2) They must also be interpreted for our own time.

The text we just heard in the Gospel addresses the first of three sets of relationships that the New Testament treats:
(1) Wives and husbands.

The other two sets of relationships are
(2) Children and parents, and
(3) Slaves and masters.

In none of the three kinds of relationships do the writers of Sacred Scripture tackle the rightness or wrongness of the underlying structure where wives, children, or slaves are considered property.

Why not?
(1)Probably because, from the author’s vantage point, the world as he knew it was short-lived. He was expecting that the end of the world would end during his generation.
(2) In addition, he didn’t have the power or influence to change anything, whatever he might say, write, or do.

That’s hard for us to understand today, believing as we do that religious and spiritual leaders need to take a more prophetic stance.

When you look at the text more carefully, however, you see that it indeed calls for a transformation, even though it leaves social structures unchanged.


The A’s and B’s

In each set of relationships, the author works with what can be called an A-B structure. There’s an “A” and a “B” in a wife’s relationship with her husband, an “A” and a “B” in a child’s relationship with his parents, and an “A” and a “B” in a slave’s relationship with his master.

In each case, “A” reflects the culture and calls for obedience, e.g. the well-known phrase in Ephesians “Wives be subject to your husbands.” In each case, “B” – “Husbands love your wives as Jesus loved the Church” – moves beyond (use hands) the culture and completely absorbs obedience into a higher value, a higher experience.


The “A” and “B” Regarding Divorce

Let’s look now at the “A” and “B” in the relationship between husband and wife regarding divorce.

Jesus’ stance against divorce arises from a very particular concern. Moses had said that a man could write a certificate of divorce and dismiss his wife. Moses says nothing about what a woman could do.

For a woman to dismiss her husband was a long, complicated and public process, while a man could simply write up a certificate, if she so much as burned the toast.

So the “A” for divorce is easy for guys; tough for gals to do. In Jesus’ view, that’s not what God had in mind.

In affirming the sacredness of the bond, men and women are placed side-by-side in his teaching when he says, “They are no longer two, but one flesh,” so breaking of the “one flesh” through divorce has the same consequences for each of them.

So in the culture of Jesus’ time wives may have had a station in a marriage below the husband (A), but she is no less equal to her husband in being one flesh with him (B).


Understanding “A” and Moving to “B”

Equality – which is spelled out in the “B” part – demands:
(1) equal Belief that it is enduring.
(2) equal Commitment to holding the marriage as sacred, and
(3) equal Respect
(4) equal Work in sustaining the marriage

And when things go awry, that same equality demands:
(1) Looking the problem squarely in the face.
(2) mutual Support in defrosting the wall of ice between you
(3) equal effort at Healing the rift
(4) equal effort in Making it work

In short, do the roles that a husband and wife play in their marriage speak of equality? They should, says Jesus.


Conclusion

We are challenged in our marriages to acknowledge a cultural bias against the wife (A), but more importantly, we are challenged to live equally as spouses (B).

Today may be the perfect time to have a discussion about that matter of equality in marriage.