Weekly HOMILY for October 8, 2006: Faith, a Fountain for Marriage Longevity

27th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
October 8, 2006

Faith, a Fountain for Marriage Longevity
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


eHarmony

Dr. Neil Clark Warren, an author and relationship expert, is the founder of “eHarmony.” The Internet service is advertised as a patented “Compatibility Matching System.”

As spokesperson for his company, Warren asks television viewers and online guests, “Isn’t it time you experienced the joy of falling in love with someone who sees you, loves you and accepts you for who you are – the kind of joy that comes from true compatability …. Let eHarmony help you begin the journey to your soul mate today.”

Not a bad offer.

Their “journey” begins with a comprehensive 436-question “Relationship Questionnaire” that screens applicants on as many as 29 dimensions of compatibility, including values, character, education, sense of humor, spiritual beliefs, family background, life experiences, etc.

A highly successful enterprise, eHarmony boasts of having matched thousands of couples; a study conducted in 2005 by Harris Interactive claims that as many as 90 eHarmony couples get married every day.

Nevertheless, and despite the success that eHarmony can document, meeting one’s soul mate by discovering several levels of compatibility is one thing. Staying married, through all the joys and pains, the celebrations, and struggles of life, is quite another.

Therefore, it seems appropriate that the Church in its wisdom periodically invites the praying assembly to consider the gift of marriage and the inherent blessing and challenges it offers us.


Genesis & Jesus: The Reality and Power of Marriage

The reading from Genesis is a faith-inspired account of the creation of the universe and of the earth’s first partners who would share dominion over it.

It is very clear that man and woman are created to be soul mates and that their union is divinely intended to supercede even the relationship between parent and child.

When they are joined in the relationship of marriage, a man and a woman become one body, a new entity that did not exist before their union.

In the Gospel, when Jesus is questioned about the legitimacy of divorce, he will reference this Genesis text and with it the truth that the marital union, intended and blessed by God, should not be severed by human beings.

And again we hear that the couple joined by marriage has become a new being; they are one flesh, one heart beating in two bodies, one soul enlivening two persons.

Now I would submit that such a union cannot be based on mere feelings or infatuation. Regardless of how potent such passions may be, they do not have the “legs” to withstand the long and winding – might we add arduous – journey that is a marriage.

And this is the point I want to make: that this journey becomes possible only when two persons share at the deepest level of their faith, their values, their spirituality. Yes, our faith stands at the center of most of our life experiences and relationships.


Application

Here’s my thinking.

If the most important relationship we have in life is our relationship with God, and if this most important relationship is founded, formed and sustained in faith, doesn’t it stand to reason that faith would also be an integral aspect of the primary human relationship of a marriage?

So this faith between me and God and the relationship that comes from it (gesture: left palm up for God and right palm on chest for self) empowers the faith between husband and wife (gesture palm to palm as husband to wife) thus creating an extraordinary potential for unity and endurance.

Yes, faith-in-God as two individuals empowers faith-shared-in-each-other as husband and wife.

And when that exists in a marriage what might you expect from your marriage?

➢ How about a faith that endures when beauty fades?

➢ How about a faith that survives when finances fail, when physical or mental health deteriorates, when troubles comes, when death visits?

➢ How about a faith that sustains the two of you when friends or relatives disappoint or betray you, when jobs are lost, when trust is tested?

➢ How about a faith that enables when self-esteem and self-confidence are lost?

➢ Or a faith that empowers you when fears seem to cripple you?

From many of your marriages that I have experienced, I have come to know that faith in God and a shared faith in each other makes for the deepest degree of compatibility that can exist between a man and a woman.

In the celebrations your 25th, 40th, and 50th anniversaries I have seen a faith that enables that relationship to continue, to thrive, and to endure.


Conclusion

eHarmony may have a great way of drawing people together as soul mates, but it is shared faith in God, empowering your faith in each other, that will keep you together!