Thursday, April 30, 2009

Weekly THIS AND THAT for May 3, 2009: 7 Things Teenage Boys Need Most

This and That:
7 Things Teenage Boys Need Most


Being the parent of an adolescent boy is legendary for its difficulty, but according to one priest who acts as a spiritual director and confessor for high school boys, just keeping in mind seven points can make for a better relationship with adolescent sons. The following is an interview with that spiritual director, Father Michael Sliney. He makes some excellent points to support both parents and young men.

Fondly,
Father Nicholas

Father Sliney suggests seven necessities for parents of adolescent boys:

1. Clear guidelines with reasonable consequences from a unified front; cutting slack but also holding boys accountable for their actions.

2. Reasonable explanations for the criteria, guidelines and decisions made by parents.

3. Avoiding hyper-analysis of boys’ emotions and states of mind: avoiding “taking their temperature” too often.

4. Unconditional love with an emphasis on character and effort more than outcome: Encourage boys to live up to their potential while having reasonable expectations. To love them regardless of whether they make it into Harvard or become a star quarterback.

5. Authenticity, faith and fidelity should be reflected in parent's lifestyles.

6. Qualities of a dad: Manliness, temperance, making significant time for family, putting aside work, and being a reliable source of guidance.

7. Qualities of a mom: Emotional stability, selflessness, loving service and extreme patience.


The interview follows.

Q: What are some of the particular characteristics of this age group that parents and educators need to bear in mind?

Father Sliney: Well, one of the first and most important points is to recognize that they are no longer kids. Up to age 12, they are still kids. But from 13 onward, puberty kicks in and there is a lot more sensitivity; they are more easily irritated and they want to be treated like a teen, not like a kid. At this age, teenage boys are discovering their identities and going through a lot of turmoil. It’s a very sensitive time, and we need to pray for them and dedicate time to them, show personal interest, try to understand what they’re thinking.

Q: How can a parent find the balance between being clear, firm and yet flexible?

Father Sliney: Explain to your son in advance: These are the guidelines and these are the consequences. The consequences must be reasonable. Every parent has an atomic bomb he or she can pull out – taking away the Internet, the cell phone, or the driver’s license, or keeping their bedroom door open – but everything needs to be done in a fair way, in due proportion. You can’t surprise a kid with a negative punishment that doesn’t correspond to what he did. Don’t let the kids feel like there is no hope or that they have totally lost your trust. Striking the balance between being firm and cutting them some slack is important. Also, it is better to be emotionless and rational when you reprimand them or make a point. Don’t throw salt in the wound by making a punishment into an emotional ordeal. If you’re going to ground your kid, do it in a rational, non-emotional way. Be brief. In the end, boys respect it more.

Q: How can parents motivate their kids to do the right thing?

Father Sliney: Don’t explain it so much in terms of “right” and “wrong,” but in terms of “wise” and “wrong.” Explain the reasons behind why something is wrong or right and frame your motivations in a positive way. For example, instead of telling your son, “Don't become a drug addict,” help him to see how resisting the temptation is a great way to forge his character. When the issue of premarital sex comes up, flip it around: Instead of saying, “It’s a mortal sin” or “You might get a disease,” help him to look forward to his future wife, and to think of what a great gift he could offer her if he waits for her.

Q: Why should parents avoid probing into their sons’ emotional life?

Father Sliney: Boys don’t like to be analyzed under a microscope. Sometimes the worst possible question a parent can ask is: “How are you doing today? How are you feeling? You look a little sad.” Don’t analyze their emotions and state of mind. Girls might like to talk about their feelings and emotions, but most boys don’t. If they had a bad day, they don’t want to talk about it because it makes them feel vulnerable and weak.

Q: Do teenage boys really feel a lot of pressure to perform up to their parents’ standards?

Father Sliney: Yes, they do feel a lot of pressure and they are very sensitive when they feel judged by how they perform instead of by who they are. They need the love and esteem of their parents. Parents should put the emphasis on their kids’ characters and on the effort they make, not necessarily on the result that comes out. If a kid is honest, generous, prayerful, trying hard in school, and is still a B student, he’s doing his best, and he should be encouraged. It’s important for parents to have reasonable expectations and to encourage each boy to live up to his potential.

Q: How important is the good example of the parents?

Father Sliney: It is extremely important. We all hyper-analyze our parents and observe the example they set in all areas: If they are practicing what they preach, if they are faithful to each other, etc. High school is a very tumultuous, unstable time for boys. If these qualities of fidelity and authenticity are not there, and if there is not a stable, happy marriage, it’s chaos. Troubled kids generally come from dysfunctional… families. Here we see the importance of a great marriage: If that’s in place, you’ve got a pretty good chance of a teenager getting through in good shape. There are not too many cases of parents who’ve got it together having dysfunctional kids.

Q: Can you expand on the importance of the dad's role in relation to his son?

Father Sliney: Kids, especially in high school, need to spend time with their dad, doing things together. This time together creates a space for him to open up and talk if he wants to. Take him out to breakfast or out to a game. Look for ways that he would want to do something with you. Dads need to get personally involved with their sons and dedicate time especially to their more difficult kids. Making little gestures of kindness is so important. My dad used to stop in every night before going to bed. He showed me he cared by asking how I was doing with my homework, how things were going. It was just a quick gesture but it was very helpful.


We're living in a very feminized culture, so dads need to teach their sons what true masculinity is all about. Being masculine doesn't mean being a tough football player and lifting weights. Manliness means strong character, self-control, quiet strength, and getting through adversity without whining. Kids need to see the example of what it means to be a man in their dad. It’s about having an internal toughness, not complaining, and not letting others tell you what to do…. If you're living an authentic life, it comes across. One time when I was a kid, we got a pretty serious tornado warning while we were out in the yard, cleaning up. My dad went to each one of us: He was calm, in control, and he knew what needed to be done. Once we were all in the basement, he was at peace, having a good conversation with us. He was a calming force, full of confidence and authenticity. And dads need to be a reliable source of guidance because high school kids are looking for words of wisdom. Kids are looking for advice from the one they love. Dads need to be available, but also offer. Kids shouldn’t be intimidated or afraid to approach their dad for advice.

Q: Why did you list “emotional stability” as the first characteristic for moms of teenage boys?

Father Sliney: Well, guys are pretty choleric and easily excitable. They don’t want their mom in their face, exploding, without self-control. It’s very irritating. If a mom is too excitable, anything she says is not going to be well received because of the emotional charge. In my experience working with kids, I’ve seen that very few have a great relationship with their mom. There’s not always a natural connection there. The way of being is so different ... and in some cases, moms still treat their teenage sons as if they were little kids. Moms should deal with their sons in a calm, straightforward way. When guys talk, they get to the point. They don’t go roundabout the point or over-emphasize it with emotions, etc. It’s important for moms to watch what comes across in their tone, in the way they address the kids.

Q: Can you expand on how moms can communicate more effectively with their sons?

Father Sliney: Most teenage boys don’t like engaging in long, philosophical conversations with their moms. It’s generally better for moms not to ask too many questions and to be satisfied with short answers. If moms dig too deeply, kids try to avoid them, because they feel like they’re being probed. Obviously, moms can pick up if their boy is having a bad day, but it’s humiliating for him to have to admit it. If you’re prodding them, it’s like forcing them to expose their weakness. Boys don’t want to show their emotions.

Moms have to understand that there won’t be a lot of communication, and they need to go about it in a very delicate way, trying to talk about things the kids like to talk about: “Hey, you played a great game last night.” The mom’s role is to be a mentor, a guide, and a leader, but she is not called to be a friend to her son. Moms are not going to have a loving, intimate, communicative relationship with their high school boys. For example, the worst thing in the world is for mom to say, “Son, we’re going shopping.” Shopping for a guy is “get in, get out.” A guy wants to go throw a football around, not stand around analyzing outfits. So Moms, you have to let them go a little bit and do things as a family. It’s more the dad’s role to have one-on-one time and to build that close man-to-man friendship. Moms can really make a big impact when they give an example of selfless love and service. Kids need to feel loved, served, appreciated, because they are not getting that in their competitive environment.

Q: How do you help teenage boys build character and a strong spiritual life?

Father Sliney: Character and the spiritual life go hand in hand, because grace builds on nature. It is not possible for a kid to be able to resist his passions of disobedience, rebelliousness, vanity, and lust without the help of God’s grace. I always suggest confession…. Definitely Sunday Mass… And it’s important for them to learn to live in the presence of Christ, because the motivation of loving Christ and serving Christ is really what is going to help kids overcome the struggles they face. Doing things just because Mom is watching or because they’ll get in trouble is not enough, because once they go to college, those deterrents are no longer there. They need to form convictions of faith in the presence of God. The most important task is to help Christ become a friend for them, to help them see that Christ is counting on them, and to know that the sacrament of confession is there if they happen to fall.

Weekly HOMILY for May 3, 2009: Jesus the Good Shepherd: So What?

4th Sunday of Easter, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
May 3, 2009

Jesus the Good Shepherd: So What?
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Emerson

In 1991 I got a dog, a little buff colored Cocker Spaniel and I had him until five years ago. Some of you may remember him; his name was Emerson after the poet.

I got Emerson when he was eight weeks old and we both attended weekly obedience classes. He was a wonderful pet.

As you would imagine, I got to know Emerson and he got to know me very well. For example, if I were coming back to the rectory in the evening after an appointment or meeting, he would be looking out the front window waiting for me.

As soon as he saw me, he would start to bark and run to get a toy and be ready to play as soon as I walked in the door.

And of course, the moment I would call his name – Emerson – he would look up and be ready for a walk, a snack, or play “keep it away.”

Shepherd and Sheep

My guess is that many of you have had similar experiences with your dogs or other pets.

And these experiences help us to understand the image in today’s Gospel. Jesus speaks of himself as the “Good Shepherd.”

I see here three traits or three things that a good shepherd does for his sheep. They help us to appreciate what Jesus, as our Good Shepherd, is ready to do for us.


1st He Knows Us

First, Jesus says: “I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me.”

In other words, the shepherd and the sheep know each other in a way that is similar to the way that my Emerson and I knew each other. The important idea here is that knowing and belonging go together.

A shepherd knows his sheep and the sheep know him because they belong to him. Knowing and belonging are one and the same thing.

The Good Shepherd does not possess the sheep in the way that we own a book or cell phone or a Blackberry or whatever. Instead, they belong to each other as the members of a family belong to one another.

Children are not their parents’ property and husbands and wives are not each other’s property, but they do belong to each other in a much deeper way. They belong by virtue of a oneness of being and of life and of love and of responsibility.

And because of this belonging, they really know one another. This is what our relationship with Jesus the Good Shepherd is all about.

He knows us and we can know him in the way that the members of a family know and belong to one another.

What a wonderful closeness and bond this is with Jesus!

2nd He Gives Life

Then second, right before today’s passage, Jesus says: “I am the good shepherd and I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Jesus promises his sheep life in abundance. He promises to lead them to pastures where they will have something to live on.

Sheep, of course, live on grass. Jesus gives us the Word of God.

This Word is what we will live on: it is the meaning and purpose and direction for our lives. And as if that’s not enough, Jesus also gives us the Eucharist.

He makes the gift of life concrete and visible for us in the bread that becomes his Body and the wine that becomes his Blood.

There’s no question of how much life our Good Shepherd gives us in Word and Eucharist.


3rd He Gives Himself

Finally, Jesus says: “I will lay down my life for the sheep.”

The idea is that Jesus does not just give us a thing. He gives us himself.

He gives us himself in the Word. He is the Word of God made flesh.

And he gives us himself in the bread. He is the bread of life.

It is Jesus himself then, who comes to us in Word and in Eucharist.

In our hearing and eating, it is Jesus himself who then lives within us. What this creates is an inner communion with him a communion of life, what we call a Holy Communion.

Conclusion

So, a wonderful image today for all of us, and maybe especially for the children receiving their First Communion, Jesus as the Good Shepherd!

(1) He knows us intimately because we belong to him.
(2) He gives us life.
(3) He gives us himself.

This is the extraordinary reality we celebrate on this 4th Sunday of the Easter Season.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Weekly THIS AND THAT for April 26, 2009: Sundays of Easter – Extending Our Joy!

This and That:
Sundays of Easter – Extending Our Joy!


In our culture, each “holiday” quickly gives way to the next. So on this Third Sunday of Easter, we find our stores urging us to prepare for Mother’s Day and graduations. However, in the liturgical life of the Church, we are still immersed in Easter Joy! During the Sundays of Easter, not “after” Easter, we hear the beautiful Gospel stories of disciples encountering the risen Jesus. Also, each Sunday of Easter, we renew our baptismal promises and we are sprinkled with Baptismal water to remind us of the new life that is ours in Christ. Following is a reflection on this Sunday’s story of the disciples encountering their risen Lord on the way to Emmaus. It is written by Larry Gillick, SJ, a Jesuit from Creighton University:

We pray for the grace of youthful joy. This grace for which we long does not return us to the innocence of our youth, but the sense of our being re-embraced. It is the season of Baptism and we pray with the infants and the adults who are “claimed by Christ” as His own.

Easter lingers in our church assemblies and the readings and prayers keep insisting that we allow the grace of joy to return and flow in and around us. Our memories can also insist that we have walked away and forgotten and forsaken our own baptismal joy. We can pray that we remember as well, at these times, the life, death and resurrection of the most Innocent of all to re-immerse us by His ever-flowing love.
REFLECTION ON TODAY’S GOSPEL

This Easter season, for the liturgies of Sunday, we do not hear of the two men walking rejectedly away from Jerusalem toward their home town of Emmaus. What we do hear in today’s Gospel is the story they are relating to their companions about how Jesus met them in their broken dreams and in the “breaking of bread.” Their excitement is that of two persons who have just come out of the best movie they had ever seen.

I personally have never failed to grow tired listening to friends as they relate some film they have just seen. It does lose something in the translation. If I enjoy anything it is the experience of two people who have seen the movie together and keep interrupting each other with details which really don’t assist my un-enjoyment. Well, here are these two returning veterans from the battle of faith in Jerusalem these latter days and behold who does the interrupting. I doubt the listeners to the excited fellows were bored with their resurrectional stories. In a sense we are being introduced to a kind of Sunday liturgy.

The congregation has listened to the word which brings Jesus alive. Then Jesus appears in a Eucharistic display. Jesus does admit that He is a challenge to their believing. The Greeks, for whom Luke is writing mainly, do not believe in the resurrection of the body, so Luke has to stress this central mystery. Jesus offers them His body with its wounds and then eats fish to show He is not a ghost. The liturgy ends with a little scriptural review of how the prophets and psalms had indicated His death and Resurrection. The liturgy ends with a Rite of Dismissal, that those who have been witnesses are to announce the call to repentance and the announcement of God’s mercy, beginning from right where they are.

If I ever get in charge of redesigning the Eucharistic liturgy I would begin with the Rite of Sending! I would have a little silent reflection time about such topics as “to whom are you sent?” “To whom are you to extend forgiveness?” “What gifts have you been given to distribute?” I might have everybody write down their reflections and then the presider would bless them and announce loudly “The world is waiting, your families are waiting, and the needy are waiting! Go in peace to continue the Mass as people who are sent beginning right where you are!”

As we renew our Baptismal promises and feel the spray of Baptismal water, may we also feel a resurgence of faith and joy – and share it freely with others!

Blessings,
Sister Mary Therese

Weekly HOMILY for April 26, 2009: Great Expectations

3rd Sunday of Easter, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
April 26, 2009

Great Expectations
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Great Expectations

When I was in high school, 1954 to 1959, I remember reading the classic Great Expectations.

I’m sure that most of us have read this somewhere along the way. Great Expectations was written by the English novelist Charles Dickens.

In the story, a young woman named Miss Havisham is about to be married. All the preparations for the wedding have been made.

On the day of the wedding, the guests arrive. They wait…and wait. But the groom never arrives.

Miss Havisham is devastated. When the guests have all left, she draws the shades on the windows, stops the clocks, and leaves the table exactly as it had been set for the wedding breakfast.

And, from then on, for the rest of her life, Miss Havisham never leaves her little house. She just sits in her loneliness – dressed in her wedding finery.

Miss Havisham and the Risen Christ

Miss Havisham is a tragic figure.

She never realizes that it is through dealing with life’s injustices, disappointments, and losses that we grow. She never realizes that it is through dealing with these realities that we come to understand what the gift of life is all about.

In today’s Gospel, the risen Christ challenges the disciples to recall what he has taught them and what they have experienced. Suffering is a reality for all of us.

But, we can still learn and grow from this inevitable suffering. In fact, we can even come to fuller life from this.


Our Expectations

Let’s just look at our own experience.

There are injustices in life. When I was a young adult my best friend John died of liver failure at the age 21 and I remember saying to myself that “Life isn’t fair.”

And it dawned on me, “No, life isn’t fair!” There are injustices – being unfairly evaluated by your boss, having your house robbed, being misunderstood or rejected by others, and on it goes.

And there are disappointments, failures, and frustrations that come to us all. It might be failing an exam, not getting a job, not making the first string or varsity team, and so on.

And yes, there are losses throughout our lives. It might be the death of a parent or spouse or child, a divorce, the loss of eyesight or hearing, and on and on goes that list.


The Risen Christ

Jesus, as the Risen Christ, calls us to deal with all of this differently from the way that Miss Havisham does in Great Expectations.

He calls us actually to confront the pain and suffering, to meet it head on. He calls us not to deny it or pretend that it has not happened or to say how unjust it all is, but to own it.

And then, Jesus, as the Risen Christ, calls us to acceptance – to accept what is and what we cannot change, and then to live – to live on. I keep saying “Jesus as the Risen Christ” because he, as risen, gives us hope and power.

The Risen Christ gives us the hope of resurrection after physical death. And he also gives us power; he empowers us to live and to live on or to live fully right now.

He empowers us not just to turn in on ourselves in the suffering and pain. He empowers us not to become or remain a victim.

Instead, he empowers us to learn and grow from suffering. He empowers us to forgive and not be vengeful, to be loving and not bitter, to be positive and not negative – in other words, to live and live on and live even more fully.


Conclusion

American author Pearl Buck says so insightfully: “We learn as much from sorrow as from joy, as much from illness as from health, as much from handicap as from advantage – and indeed, perhaps more.”

The Risen Christ makes us capable of re-creation, transformation, and even or own resurrection.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Weekly THIS AND THAT for April 19, 2009: At Last: Ecumenical Headway on Papal Primacy!

This and That:
At Last: Ecumenical Headway on Papal Primacy!


There have been significant steps forward in the Church with dialogue with the Orthodox regarding the relationship between papal primacy and the gathering of Catholic and Orthodox bishops together in synods says Benedict XVI. The Pope recalled these advances when he recently addressed the plenary assembly of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity. The Council was reflecting on the “Reception and Future of Ecumenical Dialogue.” In his address, the Holy Father mentioned progress, both at the level of theological dialogue and at the level of ecclesial fraternity, with the Orthodox Churches and the ancient Churches of the East.

In this regard, he particularly pointed to the joint Catholic-Orthodox statement from the end of 1997 on “Ecclesial Communion, Conciliarity and Authority.” That advance, known as the “Ravenna Document” (because the Church representatives met in Ravenna, Italy) “certainly opens a positive perspective of reflection on the relationship that exists between primacy and synodality [the gathering of the Churches as synods of bishops] in the Church, a discussion of crucial importance in relations with our Orthodox brothers, and which will be the object of deepening and discussion in upcoming meetings,” the Pontiff said.

Benedict XVI recalled that Orthodox Patriarch Bartholomew I made explicit reference to this issue when he addressed the Synod of Bishops in Rome in October. In addition to this positive dialogue, the Holy Father noted, “A sincere spirit of friendship between Catholics and Orthodox has been growing over these years.” This is shown, he said, in the “many contacts established between leaders of the Roman Curia and bishops of the Catholic Church with leaders from the various Orthodox Churches, as well as visits to Rome and particular Catholic Churches by leading figures from the Orthodox.”

Referring to the Pontifical Council’s analysis of the Harvest Project, which deals with the first four international bilateral dialogues in which the Church has participated since Vatican II, the Pope looked at advances with four Protestant confessions: Lutherans, Methodists, Anglicans and the World Alliance of Reformed Churches.

Regarding progress in these dialogues, the Holy Father considered that “we find ourselves on the road, in an intermediate situation, in which it seems very useful and opportune to make an objective analysis of the results obtained.”

The Bishop of Rome encouraged both reflection on the progress made, and “the discovery of new paths…seeking together to overcome the divergences that unfortunately still remain in the relationships between the Disciples of Christ."

In his brief address to the Pope, Cardinal Walter Kasper, President of the Pontifical Council, had explained that during their days of work, the Council members had particularly pointed out “problems of hermeneutics, that is, of interpreting the Word of God expressed in Sacred Scripture and in the living Tradition of the Church; and also urgent problems in this situation regarding anthropology and ecclesiology.”

Faced with challenges that Ecumenical Dialogue is facing with the establishment of more new communities and groups, and with certain unprecedented tendencies and tension, the Holy Father continued emphasizing the importance of dialogue. “Charity,” he said, “will help Christians to cultivate this ‘thirst’ for full communion in the truth, and docilely following the inspirations of the Holy Spirit, we can hope to arrive soon to the desired unity, on the day that the Lord wants.” “Ecumenism invites us to a fraternal and generous interchange of gifts,” the Pope added, “aware that full communion in the faith, in the Sacraments and in ministry remains the goal and end of the entire Ecumenical Movement.”

May the Holy Spirit continue to inspire our Catholic leadership and our people to pray and hunger that “all may be one” as Jesus prayed the day before he died for us.

Fondly,
Father Nicholas

Weekly HOMILY for April 19, 2009: Bearers of Peace to One Another

2nd Sunday of Easter, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
April 19, 2009

Bearers of Peace to One Another
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


In Your Face

Did it ever strike you that Jesus should have gone into the chambers of the high priests? “Look at me, you poor, misguided people, and repent of your ways,” he could have said. “I am right. You are wrong. I am the Son of God. Now do you get it?”

Or why not go to the judgment seat where Pilate Saturday? “‘What is truth?’ you say. Here it is. ‘Behold the man,’ you said. Behold indeed. Don’t just sit there with your mouth open. I’ve come back from the dead. Take a picture and send it back to your emperor.”

No, Jesus does nothing of the kind. The resurrection is not about himself or for his own persona prestige or vindication. Instead of focusing on trying to prove anything, he comes through locked doors to greet and to challenge his shuddering, fearful and defensive disciples.

Jesus breaks into te company of bewildered and anxious people tooffer them a new sense of meaning and purpose.

These are the people who, in such a touching way, he called friends on the night before he died, and to a man they let him down.

At this point they have lost any dimension of their sense of mission that they might have had or any sense of their being a living community with a clear sense of purpose and direction.

All that binds them together is fear.


The Huddle

They’re not huddled in that room as athletes sometimes huddle to make plans for the next play or the nect offensive, but simply to be huddled. Their huddling is for the sake of huddling.

“Peace be with you,” Jesus says to them, and suddenly a new spirit enters into that locked, shaded room; a new sense of energy and purpose enters into their closed and frightened presence

the appearance of Jesus on that evening of the first day of the week is less about the past than about the future that will arise out of the light and power and peace of his Easter presence.

it is less about evening and more about morning.

The resurrection is about the future of those fearful disciples and about the future of the world they will begin to build in the power of his spirit.

It is the intrusion of the risen Jesus into their frightened little circle that breaks them out of their inward-looking huddle and turns them around.

Jesus turns their circle inside out. His presence and greeting of peace is a call to conversion – a real spiritual turnaround.

More than merely brining peace to his frightened followers, he charges them to move nto the future as heralds and bearers of that same peace.

They themselves will take on his peace-making mission and bring it forward. His appearance do more than simply vindicate his personal integrity or prove the validity of his life and ministry; they evokes and provoke transformation among his disciples.

In his appearances the risen Jesus confronts them with their own possibilities.


The Confrontation

Jesus says to them again, “Peace be with your. As the Father has sent me so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

(1) The peace is offered. (2) The commission is given. (3) The energy of the Spirit’s breath is poured out from the very soul of the risen Christ, but the “If’s” loom large, very large.

(4) A choice remains here – a big choice. They will have to make a decision that will give shape and direction to their whole future.

The choice is about being locked up in a huddle or being feed to become messengers of liberation and reconciliation. The choice is about staying in the upper room in self-righteous isolation, or moving to the ground floor and out the door.

Take your pick.


The Choice Is Yours

You can look backwards and point fingers at the chief priests and Pilates in your own life who have hurt you, even at the Peters and the Thomases with their betrayals and doubts, OR you can choose to move into God’s future and go out to these same persons with a message of peace and healing

In the peace of Christ and in the power of his spirit you can believe in the possibilities of forgiveness and reconciliation OR, with one eye looking backward, you can proceed with your own carefully controlled steps and plans and projects, guided by nothing more than your own limited vision and carefully contrived pragmatism.

This is the fundamental choice Jesus offers as he breathes on his first disciples and messengers of good news.

And on this “first day of the week” again with us his disciples huddled together he breathes on us today!

Take your pick!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Weekly THIS AND THAT for April 12, 2009: EASTER SUNDAY -- 50 Days of Celebration from Easter to Pentecost

THIS AND THAT:
FIFTY DAYS OF CELEBRATION FROM EASTER TO PENTECOST


We take a moment to wish all those in our parish family, and those visiting with us on this glorious and festive day, a blessed Easter.

It has been said that the human capacity for festivity arises from the ability to affirm all creation as good – from the ability to embrace, in one resounding “yes,” the length and breath, the heights and depths of our experience in and of this world. We see it in opening of our windows to let in some of the refreshing spring air. We see it in the first crocuses and forsythia sprouting through the soil, after a long cold frozen winter. We hear it the poignant descant of an oboe rising above a steady pulse sounded by an orchestra. We hear it in the delighted squeals of a child as its face is licked by the moist tongue and hot breath of a new puppy. We can hear it in the contented, prayerful whispers of an elderly woman – full of love, grace and years – as she prepares to pass through death to the other side of life, with quiet courage and dignity.

Saying “yes” to all of life, letting all of it in – that is festivity’s sustaining source. But there too is the rub. If the truth be known, few of us can say “yes” to anything for very long. We live, after all, in an intensely mobile culture of fast food, faster cars, disposable diapers and planned obsolescence. We know well the distinction between eating and dining, yet have little time or patience for the latter. Andy Warhol once quipped that our greatest goal is to be famous for fifteen minutes.

Have you ever noticed that at parties we do not carry on conversations, instead we “posture,” that is, we repeat to one another bits and pieces of dialogue from movies, beer commercials, sitcoms, or interviews with sports’ celebrities. Is it any small wonder that many in our society feel so isolated and so lonely. They are unable to connect; they are so incapable of forming relationships that last very long. It is no revelation then, that as individuals we find ourselves increasingly bored, angry, aggressive, and violent. Is it that we’re enraged and terrified by the awful emptiness that seems to stretch in every direction around us?

Given such cultural conditioning, the Christian celebration of what our tradition, as Roman Catholics, calls “the blessed Pentecost” will strike many in our families and circles of friends as mad indeed. For today – Easter Sunday – we begin the celebration of fifty days of immersing ourselves in the Paschal Mystery! Fifty days of surrendering in joyful faith and committed love as the Spirit of God takes possession of our lives! Fifty days of what we call “mystagogy,” namely, of walking with the newly initiated of the Rite of Christian Initiation ever more deeply into the baptismal mysteries of death and resurrection. Good heavens; what an order that will be!

Perhaps one reason why such a prolonged celebration of the fifty days from Easter until Pentecost strikes us as difficult – if not downright absurd – is that we tend to link feasts and holidays with mindless hoopla. “Party time,” for many, is our, or at least their, invitation to obliterate consciousness, to “get wasted,” to “veg out,” to forget, or to become violent by getting embroiled in violent mob response following a lost championship or we hate the visiting team.

But a season of Christian festival is precisely the opposite. It is a time of intensified consciousness, finely turned awareness, awakened memory. The great fifty days of Pentecost are not an unwelcome, unrealistic, obligation to “party on,” even if we don’t feel like it, but instead an invitation to explore more deeply what one writer has called “the weather of the heart.” It is a time to awaken our memory of God’s presence and power in our lives, to look more closely at all the rich and varied textures of creation. In short, the fifty days from Easter to Pentecost is a season for learning how to speak a full-throated “yes” in a culture that wants to keep on saying “no.”

Fondly,
Father Nicholas

Weekly HOMILY for April 12, 2009: EASTER SUNDAY The Paschal Candle IS Easter!

Easter Sunday, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
April 12, 2009

The Paschal Candle IS Easter!
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


The Easter Candle

(This evening, at this extraordinary celebration of what is called the Great Easter Vigil) (Today, at this holiest of all feasts),
there is one symbol that dominates the sanctuary and will continue to do so for 50 days until the Feast of Pentecost.

It is the tallest, the thickest, the most adorned item before us (point and move toward it) a symbol which epitomizes Easter Resurrection. It was lit for the first time (this) (last) evening and will be lit for every Mass during the seven Sundays of the Easter Season.

Let us reflect on the rich symbolism this extraordinary candle offers us as we embark on the holiest Season of the Liturgical Year.

The Easter Candle – properly called the Paschal Candle – is rich in symbolism and meaning. It speaks to us and draws us into union with the Risen Christ as Light, as Love, and as Life.


The Candle: Light

First, the Easter Candle is like any candle in the sense that by its very nature, its purpose it to give light.

It speaks to us of the Risen Christ as our personal Light and our light as a people. In the Hebrew Scriptures, God is often seen as light, as when he is manifested as a Pillar of Fire leading his people in the Exodus through the desert from Egypt to the Promised Land.

In the New Testament, St. John is emphatic when he says, “God is light.” And then Jesus says: “I am the light of the world and whoever follows me will not walk in darkness.”

The Risen Christ, specifically as Light, leads us out of all forms of personal and communal darkness. He especially draws us out of the darkness of feeling that life has no purpose or that it has no meaning.

The Risen Christ, as Light, enables us to see that we have indeed come from God and will someday return to God.

Jesus as Light, helps us to know ourselves and others as daughters and sons of God and how we are to relate to one another.


The Candle: Love

Second, the Easter Candle is again like any candle in the sense that it gives warmth.

By its very nature, it has the ability to reach out and give of itself as it gives warmth and in so doing it draws us to it. In this way, it speaks to us of the Risen Christ as Love.

Again we can remember St. John who says so simply: “God is love.” After these words, Jesus gives us the two great commandments of love of God and of love of neighbor.

The Risen Christ, as Love, leads us out of all forms of dysfunctional behavior. He especially draws us out of feelings of worthlessness and indifference toward others.

The Risen Christ, as Love, leads each of us to realize our self-worth as God’s beloved sons and daughters.

And he leads us to reach out to one another and to all of God’s children with the same warmth and compassion and willingness to share.


The Candle: Life

Finally, the Easter Candle is like any candle with its flickering flame.

Here the Symbol declares that Jesus is active and alive. In this way, it speaks to us of the Risen Christ as Life.

We believe that we first share this life of the Risen Christ at Baptism. This is why, in our Catholic tradition, we initiate adults into our faith community at the Easter Vigil.

And this is why all of us are invited to renew our baptismal promises at the Easter Masses. We will do that in just a few minutes.

The Risen Christ, as Life, leads us out of all forms of death into new life in him.

He leads us out of the death of bitterness into the life of forgiveness.

As Life, he leads us out of the death of loneliness into the life of relationship and community.

And above all, he leads us out of the death of death itself to the hope of fuller life with him.


Conclusion

The one symbol that predominates in the sanctuary and will continue to do so for 50 days until the Feast of Pentecost predominates because it must.

It is a constant reminder and instrument through which we experience the reality of Easter in our daily lives.

It both (1) Proclaims and (2) Draws us into the Risen Savior as Light, Love, and Life.

There is justifiable cause for our Alleluias and the joy we share on this day!

Weekly HOMILY for April 10, 2009: GOOD FRIDAY Picking up Your Cross

Good Friday Remarks
Our Lady of Grace
April 10, 2009

Picking up Our Cross
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Crucifixion

Picking up your cross is not exactly what we expected, it?

All the days of Lent, we have walked with a friend, a shepherd, a miracle worker, a storyteller, who seems to be inviting us to imitate him.

Yet, now, the road is uphill, full of pain and ends with a naked Savior nailed to the wood of a cross.


Crucifixion and Others

Lesser souls would shrink from the site. However, something compels us to follow him into crucifixion. He warned us that this was coming.

Our Catholic faith is not a “feel good,” “entertain me” religion. We know that discipleship requires laying down your life for the sake of love, just like the master.

Many have gone to the cross before us: Little St. Terese dying of tuberculosis in a French convent, Padre Pio persecuted for the sake of the stigmata, Edit Stein gassed into stillness because she was a Jew, Dorothy Stang and Stanley Rother dying by bullets of hate in Central America.

The list is not complete. It will continue as long as evil tries to conquer Jesus’ Calvary love.


Crucifixion and Us

We are rarely asked to be so heroic as the martyrs and saints. Our dying is less known, but still a part of the mystery of dying and rising.

In these pews is quite enough suffering to bring grace to all of us.

The beauty of entering Good Friday with our small crosses is that Jesus opens his arms wide to receive all we offer.

From the nagging pain of arthritic joints to a long endured grief, Jesus, in this final gesture of death, wants us near him.

He is like us in all things but sin. He is like us in pain, suffering, grief and dying.


A Sign of Hope

Because of this day we will never stand alone in our personal crucifixions.

The cross before us is the great sign of hope.

In the companionship of the communion of saints we walk up the hill and stand at the cross.

Teacher, shepherd, storyteller, he is finally savior.

We pray for the courage to bear the cross with him.

Weekly HOMILY for April 9, 2009: HOLY THURSDAY The Exoduses in Our Lives

Mass of the Lord’s Supper, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
April 9, 2009

The Exoduses in Our Lives
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Last Evening’s Passover

Last evening at sundown our Jewish friends and neighbors began their celebration of Passover.

This evening at sundown we celebrate the Mass of the Lord’s Supper and Jesus’ Washing of the Feet of his disciples.

All three events – the Passover, the Last Supper, and the Washing of Feet have a similar meaning, that of passing over from slavery and death to new life and promise.

All three can be seen as an Exodus.


Jews’ Exodus

“Exodus” and our English word “Exit” have the same Greek root, meaning to go or leave. The Exodus thus was the departure or leaving of the Jewish People from Egypt.

Each of our three readings calls us to observe and apply three different, though connected, exoduses that we as followers of Jesus claim as central to our faith.

The first of the three exoduses took place 1,300 before the birth of Jesus.

The Jews under the leadership of Moses are lead out of slavery across the Red Sea into the Sinai Desert and eventually to the Promised Land.

Scripture tells us that the Lord God told his People to remember and observe what he had done for them there, by celebrating a special meal each year. This meal was called the Passover because it recalls the passing over of God’s Chosen People from slavery to freedom.

We hear this meal described in tonight’s first reading from the Book of Exodus.

The Passover Meal that began last evening brings Jews together and fuses their past and their present. The kind of food they eat and the way they eat it makes present again, the saving event of the original Exodus.

At the same time, it expresses their faith that God will continue to save them from evil in the present. In other words, the meal deepens their trust that God will perform other exodus events for them on their journey of faith.


Jesus’ Exodus

That takes us to the second exodus event that is before us this evening – this one occurs around the year 30 of the Common Era. We hear about it in the section of tonight’s second reading from St. Paul.

Jesus is celebrating that same Jewish Passover Meal with his Apostles that we just heard about. In doing this, he recalls that first Exodus, but notice, he adds something new.

(1) Jesus makes the bread and wine that they are having at the meal into a whole new reality. He consecrates it as his own body and blood that is to be sacrificed for us.

(2) And then, he also tells his Apostles to celebrate this meal in memory of his departure, his going out of, his exodus from this world.

Once again, as with the Passover Meal of the Old Testament, the Last Supper fuses the past with the present. It recalls Jesus’ exodus from this world through crucifixion and death to his resurrection.

This meal gives us in this present moment a communion with him and communicates to us the very life of God.


Our Exodus

Which brings us to the third exodus that is taking place in our hearing this very evening. This exodus is based on the section of tonight’s reading from the Gospel of John.

We are told that Jesus washes the feet of the Apostles at the Last Supper and after doing so, he tells them, “As I have done, so you must do.”

Jesus’ actions and words define what our exodus is for us today. We are being called to a departure, from our slavery to the sin of the past to a new freedom of love and service of others.

As did the Jewish Passover and the Last Supper, this action also fuses the past bondage with the present liberation. We recall Jesus’ words and we move forward from them.

For example:

➢ “As I have washed your feet like a slave, so you must wash the feet of each other and serve one another.” And so I let my feet be washed and I wash another’s.

➢ “As I have loved you without limit or condition, so you must love one another without limit or condition.” And so I resolve today to see my enemy or a former friend with a new perspective.

➢ “As I am about to suffer and die for you, so you must suffer and, if necessary, die for one another.” And so I resolve to sacrifice time and effort for the good of others and not always seek first what is best for me.

Such actions are exodus experiences that engage us personally today.


Conclusion

Yes, the Jewish People know well how to celebrate their liberation from slavery.

And tonight, we are able to depart from our own selfishness and sin and live again that exodus in the Eucharist and the washing of one another’s feet.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Weekly HOMILY for April 5, 2009: PASSION/PALM SUNDAY The Crucifixion Continues and You Are There

Passion (Palm) Sunday, Cycle B
Our Lady of Grace
April 5, 2009

The Crucifixion Continues and You Are There
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Crucifiers

Various people and various human tendencies were responsible for crucifying Jesus.

The Governor – Pilate – knows that the person dragged before him is innocent, but justice was not his primary concern.

Keeping things under control for his Roman bosses, so as to hold on to his comfortable position, this is what matters most to Pilate. And so, Jesus is crucified on the cross of Pilate’s self-interest.

Next, the High Priest is a sincerely religious man. He sees it as his duty to protect his faith from this anarchist who questions the ritual and certain teachings.

This high priest and his Sanhedrin are like some others throughout history who have so exalted the truth of a creed that they have missed the truth of humanity and of compassion. And so, Jesus is crucified on the cross of the high priest’s self-righteousness.

Then there’s Judas who expects this Messiah to restore economic and political power to Israel, yet, Jesus keeps talking about a kingdom of justice and peace, a kingdom built on selflessness and humility and service.

Judas cannot take this any longer and decides to cut his losses, cash in, and move on. And so, Jesus is crucified on the cross of Judas’ distorted ambition.

And finally, there are the onlookers who watch Jesus stumble through the streets, with the crossbeam strapped to his shoulders. He is in great pain.

And they just watch and do or say nothing. So Jesus is crucified on the cross of the people’s indifference.


Crucifiers Today

On this Passion Sunday, we are confronted once again with the death of Jesus on the cross.

We see those involved in that crucifixion 2000 years ago – Pilate, the High Priest, Judas, and the onlookers. In truth, Jesus is crucified not because of any single madman or evil movement.

He is crucified because of ordinary, everyday vices – self-interest, self-righteousness, distorted ambition, and indifference.

The all-important question is: “Do not these same vices, in us, continue to crucify Jesus today?”

Is Jesus not crucified today by:

➢ Our acting for our own self-interest alone and not looking out for the common good of all?

➢ Is he not crucified today by our sense of self-righteousness which demonizes and destroys persons instead of aiming at evil behavior?

➢ Is Jesus not crucified today by our distorted ambition – witness the current financial crisis – where fairness and honesty are forgotten?

➢ And is he not crucified today by our indifference where we do not tend to the needs of a relative who is emotionally troubled or the forgotten and hurting in our society?

As we reflect on Jesus’ passion this week we call Holy Week, may we realize the crucifixions we are party to, at times without even knowing it.

And may the crucified Christ grant us the grace to transform these crucifixions into experiences of Resurrection.

To do that we must have a change of heart in our heart become the humble, selfless, and compassionate heart of Jesus.