Thursday, July 26, 2007

Weekly MESSAGE for July 29, 2007: Back from Mepkin Abbey

July 26, 2007

Focus: Mepkin Abbey

Dear Friend,

Have you ever visited a place you have never been, but in some strange way feel like you are “home”? I have this past week.

It may have been the 300-year-old Oaks laden with Spanish Moss that lined the half-mile driveway of the entrance. It may have been the warmth and hospitality of Fr. Guerric as he showed me my “cell” for the week’s retreat. It may have been the beautiful grounds, the stark look and warm wood of the Abbey church. Who knows what it was, but “arriving home” is how I felt.

Mepkin Abbey will be my home for 3 months beginning January 3, 2008 where I will live as a Trappist monk. It was suggested that I come for a week’s retreat to get a sense of things and to see if I’d like it for an extended period of time.

What struck me most was how much an environment of silence (no talking except when praying the Divine Office), intense prayer (7 times a day), simple food (vegetarians, lots of “bread and cheese” for breakfast and supper), and spiritual reading will do for an individual’s spiritual life. It was a very satisfying time. I did get a chance to see where I’d be working five hours a day. It was in the egg factory where eggs are sorted, cleaned and packaged for market. It’s in this way that the monks provide an income for the Abbey. Other jobs would include gardening, tours, kitchen, and the gift shop.

It was good to get a firsthand experience of monastic life. And while I am a relatively outgoing sort of fellow, it did have a wonderful appeal for me.

The homily this week is one I worked on with a friend. I will not be giving it this weekend. Our deacon, Lee Benson, will be preaching instead. I will nevertheless put it up on the parish webpage and on my blog as an mp3 audio file.

Best regards,
Father Nick Amato

Weekly THIS AND THAT for July 29, 2007: Worry -- A Torch Passed from Generation to Generation

This and That:
Worry: A Torch Passed from Generation to Generation

Recently a friend shared the follow reflection on parental worrying. It struck a chord in me as being right on the mark.

Fondly,
Father Nick

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, “It’s their life,” and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son’s head. I asked, “When do you stop worrying?” The nurse said, “When they get out of the accident stage.” My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, “Don’t worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.” My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, “They’re trying to find themselves. Don’t worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They’ll be adults.” My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother’s warm smile and her occasional, “You look pale. Are you a all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?”

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, “Where were you? I’ve been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.”

I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

Weekly HOMILY for July 29, 2007: How to Pray

17th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Cycle C
Our Lady of Grace

How to Pray
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato
July 29, 2007


One Prayer

There is a story about an eight-year-old boy named Benjamin.

Benjamin really wanted a baby sister and he decided to write a prayer-letter to God. And this is what he wrote.

“Dear God, I’ve been a very good boy…” And then, Benjamin stopped, thinking that God would not be convinced by this argument.

And so, he began again: “Dear God, most of the time I’ve been good…” And again, Benjamin stopped, thinking that this just wasn’t strong enough.

After a few moments, Benjamin got up, took a towel out of the linen closet and spread it on a chair in the living room. Then, he walked over to the mantle above the fireplace and slowly lifted down the statue of Mary.

Very carefully, Benjamin placed the statue of Mary on the towel and wrapped it. He then carried it back to the dining room table and began his third attempt at writing his prayer-letter.

This time, he wrote: “Dear God, if you ever want to see your mother again…”


How to Pray

Obviously, little Benjamin really struggled with how to pray to God.

In today’s Gospel, the disciples ask Jesus: “Lord, teach us to pray.” This afternoon, I want to reflect with you on just the first two words of the prayer that Jesus teaches, the words “Our” and “Father.”

Theses words are rich in meaning and they guide us in how we are to pray.


“Father”

I start with the word “Father.”

In my ministry, I have heard some people say that it is difficult to pray to God as “Father.” They say this because their own father was either absent or not a good example.

Well, when Jesus teaches us to pray to God as “Father,” he is not projecting an earthly image of fatherhood onto God. Instead, he is doing the reverse – showing us from God what an earthly father and all of us are to be like.

When we pray to God as “Father,” we recognize God as the One who transcends and is beyond anything we can know or imagine. We are also recognizing God as our Creator, as the One who gives life to everything that is.

We recognize God as the divine source from which we all come and the divine goal to which we all will return. And then, in addition to the gift of our life, the word “Father” conveys that God is the source of all good.

After teaching this prayer, Jesus uses the comparison of an earthly father. He says that if we “give good things to our children, how much more will the Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

The idea here is that the gift of God is God himself. How often we say that it is important for parents not just to give things to their children, but to be there for them, to give themselves to their children!

Here Jesus is saying that God as “Father” is the model for this. He gives us the gift of himself and in fact, this is what prayer is all about – opening ourselves to receive this gift from God.

All of this is wrapped up in the one word “Father.”


“Our”

And then, there is the word “Our.”

In a sense, only Jesus is fully entitled to say “My Father.” As we say in our Creed, Jesus alone is “eternally begotten of the Father, God from God.”

The rest of us speak of God as “Our Father” because the rest of us have become God’s children in and through Jesus. And, unlike Jesus, we are not ready-made children of God.

We have to grow to become more and more God’s sons and daughters. We do this through prayer.

In our prayer, we grow in our inner relationship and communion with the “Father.” And we also do this by our oneness with each other.

This is the other meaning of the word “Our.” In praying “Our Father,” we recognize our relatedness or connection with one another.

We are also to live with this awareness. We are to live as part of God’s family in the Church and with care for all of God’s children, whether they are in or outside of the Church.

All of this is wrapped up in the one word “Our.”


Conclusion

So, Jesus teaches us to pray “Our Father.”

Those two words express a great deal about God, about us, about our relationship with God and about our relationship with one another.

They are the foundation for how we are to pray at all times.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Weekly MESSAGE for July 15, 2007: Retreat at Mepkin Abbey

July 15, 2007

Focus: Retreat at Mepkin Abbey

Dear Friend,

As many of you know by now, the Cardinal has given me permission to take a six-month sabbatical for calendar year 2008. My plan is to live three months in a residency program at Mepkin Abbey, a Trappist Monastery in Monks Corner, South Carolina from January 3, 2008 to April 4, 2008 and then return to continue on as pastor of Our Lady of Grace. In September my plan is to spend three months at the Ecumenical Institute at Tantur, Israel. That should get me back to the parish by early December.

Each year priests of the Archdiocese make a one-week retreat and I have been doing that every June with my Clergy Support Group. This year however, there will be a difference. The Abbott at Mepkin Abbey suggested I spend week with the community as my weekly retreat to get a feel for the community. So on Monday I will drive 9½ hours to South Carolina to do just that. On the way home I will stop in North Carolina for a family reunion and to baptize my two new twin grandnieces.

All this is to say that I will not be sending you an email of the weekly message, This and That, and homily next week. See you back two weeks from today.

Have a good week.

Best regards,
Father Nick Amato

Weekly THIS AND THAT for July 15, 2007: The Drama Ministry Moves Many Hearts

This and That:
The Drama Ministry at Our Lady of Grace Moves Many Hearts

Well it was another four-performance smash as The Youth Theatre of Northern Baltimore County did a production of Godspell. The following are some letters received from folks who attended one of the performances. If you do not think that a theatre production can make a difference in a person’s life in terms of his or her relationship with Jesus Christ, read on.

Fondly,
Father Nick Amato

Dear Rev. Msgr. Nicholas Amato and Leaders of Our Lady of Grace Parish,
I just couldn’t go to bed this evening without thanking you for the beautiful gift of Godspell this afternoon. I got dragged to this show by a friend who raved after seeing it this past Thursday. I really didn’t want to come, but since I had turned this friend down on two previous invitations I felt compelled to be cooperative. Little did I know what a gift this invitation would become. To say the performance was incredible would not give it the justice it deserves. I for one, was stunned at the professionalism of what I saw onstage. Who would have thought it possible to inject this much vibrant exuberance and artistic imagination into a beloved old warhorse nearly done to respectable death by high schools and church groups for almost 30 years? I certainly would never have imagined a small rural theatre would have the ability to do what was done last evening. Godspell’s timeless message has always been about finding your quiet, unshakable faith amid a very loud, cold and shallow modern world. And anyone who did not find faith in last night’s performance must have been deaf, blind or asleep. Mary. Miller’s unbridled imagination revived Godspell’s freshness, humor and unapologetic decency. She deserves much credit for harnessing the incredible talents of this cast into a coherent whole. Her inventive twists couldn’t help but delight those of us overly familiar with the show. And to pull it off without overshadowing or diluting the sincere message of humanity, goodness, compassion and God’s love is simply ingenious. The ensemble – every last one a talented performer – exudes life, energy, humor and joy with full-throated voices that raise goose bumps a dozen times during the show. The young gentleman who sang “All Good Gifts” [Danny Baird] had me in tears. And the song, “Tower of Babble” had me speechless. Rarely do you see this song performed because of its difficulty. It is a very difficult song to play musically as well as sing, especially when you have 8 different parts with different words singing acapella. It was incredible! The entire production was unbelievably tight. I can easily see this production making lifelong theater and churchgoers, even for those of us lucky enough to get dragged to this show kicking and screaming. One last note about something that really touched my heart. I was sitting near the back and had the privilege of watching Mary Miller throughout the show. I watched her cheer her actors on, I watched her shed tears and watched her hug each and every actor as they came up for bows. What struck me most was the deep respect and genuine love that passed between her and each of the actors as they stepped up to receive her hug. I think for both of them that hug was more important than the bow. I hope Our Lady of Grace can truly appreciate what this woman has brought to your community. I don’t think any of us will ever realize exactly what a treasure she is or the value of what she has given.

Thank you for a wonderfully memorable evening which rejuvenated my passion for Christ and my commitment to be one of His disciples. Where do I get season tickets?

Dr. Steven Whiting


Dear Rev. Msgr. Amato and Mary Miller,

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for Mary Miller and the Youth Theatre have done it again! By sharing, dancing, hoping, feeling, laughing and singing you traced the outline of life’s bounty and mystery. Ms. Miller I don’t know how you do it, but you were able to honestly, creatively and vividly translate Godspell without losing its basic simplicity, warmth, vigor and message. For the audience last night’s performance was a graceful free fall into life, laughter, and love. But most of all, it proves that we can be the happiest of all creatures if we will just dance to the rhythm of His word and our own comic songbook souls. The cast was brilliant, uniformly strong: talented, committed and infectiously endearing. Each and every one of them added something important to the show. John the Baptist was extraordinary and Jesus, well, what can I say, he was simply put – amazing. Mary Miller you are a blessing to us all. May God Bless you with health so we may enjoy many more Miller productions to come.

Sharon Timmons


Dear Father Nick,

This letter is about 5 months late but as they say “better late than never.” I just saw “Godspell” and was blown away at the talent and message of the show. But more importantly I wanted to share with you the impact Mary Miller and your theatre ministry has had on my life. First, a little background. More years ago than I care to admit to I walked away from church and became immersed in law enforcement. I found it was easier to deal with the criminal element than attempting to deal with the individual shades of grey found in the church pews. I found myself being drawn back to the church (St. John’s) in spite of my desires or my preference. At first it was simply to keep my wife happy. She had held steadfastly to the idea of having her husband sit beside her in church. My logic was it was worth giving up a few hours on Sunday morning to keep peace in the family. Well, the best laid plans of mice and men. There was one center point in my rebellion against God. I quit praying. It was an easy enough thing to stop. There were always other things to keep me occupied for the time I had normally set aside to pray. Even on Sundays I worked hard to ignore the preacher only allowing him into my conscious world on occasion. That is until I saw “Treasures of the Heart” this past December. This musical helped me to take a long hard look at my life and the many blessings that had been bestowed on me. After the show I spoke with Mary Miller, the director and thanked her for the beautiful words both spoken and sung in the musical. She was gracious, but gave the credit to God, thanking him for giving them to her. I encouraged her to take credit for her own words and she said the only credit she would take would be for listening when God spoke. It was obvious to me by the look in her eyes when she said this that she truly meant every word she had spoken. Frankly, her humility stunned me. Most people I know are eager to boast about their accomplishments. I asked her where this humility came from and she said, “Look at the cross.” That was it! That was what I needed to hear; what I was missing. The following Sunday as I sat with my wife trying to ignore the sermon being preached I took a good long look at the cross. And although I was able to somewhat tune out the sermon, I was not able to ignore that cross. Every Sunday after that I sat and stared at the large wooden cross mounted high in the front of the church. It was then that I finally found myself being drawn back into prayer. I’m not going to say it was easy because I kicked, I screamed, I fought and even became angry at the thought. But whatever I did I found myself talking to God. I didn’t know why. The one thing I did know was that I was being inexorably pulled back into a conversation with God. Deep down I knew I was being called home. It was then that I realized why Mary Miller’s musical touched me so deeply. It was because I had been homeless. I had been wandering aimlessly – hungry, cold, and yearning to find my way home. This past Friday evening, watching Godspell, I was once again motivated and inspired to be truer to God. I saw Mary Miller after the show once again and told her that the model of love for God that she is able to show for the youth of this theatre and for all of us in the community is so amazingly beautiful and stunning. What a gift she shares with us all. Once again she praised God for all of this. I have such awe and admiration for her, so much that it is far beyond my understanding. It went even further when someone told me that she suffers from a terminal illness. Thank you for allowing her to share this ministry with the poor souls of this world.

(Name withheld at the request of the writer)


Hello Ms. Miller,

This is Amy Woolf, your “tech goddess.” [Amy was in charge of lighting for the production.] I just wanted to thank you and everyone involved with Godspell so so much for everything they’ve done for me. I really feel like part of the family. This week has been scary and full of hospitals and doctors, except when I got to be with you and the cast. My father passed away peacefully this afternoon around 3:00pm, and although I am new to the OLG Theatre family, I cannot think of any other group of people I would rather be with. I feel like you have more ways than me to get in touch with the cast, so please tell them how much I love them and how loved they made me feel this week. This performance of Godspell will always be close to my heart, because my father’s cardiac arrest was Sunday morning, when I joined you, and he was at peace when Godspell was doing it’s final show. Thank you so much again, you have no idea what you’ve meant to me.

Amy Woolf


Dear Mary and Father Nick,

I attended last evening’s performance of Godspell as a part of the review process for the Kennedy Center. Once again, you have amazed us with your creative direction. What struck me even more than the musical was your relationship with the actors. It was very touching to see the love pass between you and the youth. Often times the directors we see are untouchable dictators. Your smile, warmth and obvious love for these actors warmed my heart. It must be an awesome experience being under your direction. I will report back to the review committee tomorrow with once again highest recommendations for having you direct “Treasures of the Heart” at the Kennedy Center for either the 2008-09 season or the 2009-10 season. There are still a few more committees to go through before final approval but you are well on your way. As you can imagine I have seen Godspell umpteen times and never have I seen it done so creatively. Great job! And kudos to the cast, production staff, backstage crew, and band. All around a magnificent job!

(Name withheld at the request of the writer)


Dear Father Nick,

I thought you should know what a wonderful time we had at the Godspell production this past week. We came Thursday night and bought tickets to return Saturday because we loved it so much. We saw last year’s show too which almost made us not buy tickets, but I’m glad we did. Mary was able to make this show very different than last year and the kids onstage were phenomenal. How does she do it with her health problems? Where does she find the energy to be there for all of us? Where does she find the strength to continue to motivate the entire community to follow in the Lords footsteps? I watched her as she hugged each and every one of those kids each night before bows. It brought a tear to my eye. It is obvious that they love her and she loves them. What an amazing combination. Thank you for allowing this ministry to take shape. No offense to you or anyone else but I think this ministry has affected the Our Lady of Grace Community more than just about anything else.

The Haus Family


Dear Youth Theatre of Northern Baltimore County,

All I can say is ….WOW!!! They say that God works in mysterious ways and last night was an example of this for me. It just so happened a friend I haven’t seen in awhile had an extra ticket to your performance last evening. This friend and I had been on the outs over something that now, as we look back, was pretty insignificant. I hesitated about coming because of this, but something compelled me to begrudgingly accept the invite. We didn’t speak much but polite exchanges in the lobby and took our seats with I must admit quite a bit of discomfort on my part. As I sat waiting for the show to start I began regretting my decision to come to the show. After all, I was sitting next to someone who had wronged me and it was “community theatre” so in my mind it was going to bomb!!! Boy was I surprised…it didn’t take more than 1 minute after curtains up before I was completely enthralled. Soon my friend and I were laughing, nudging each other and smiling. During intermission we gabbed like two school girls and the great divide that came between us fell apart. As we were standing in the lobby the director walked by and my friend caught her eye and told her what a wonderful job she had done with these beautifully talented children. She was very gracious but gave all the credit to God and the kids…taking little credit for herself. As she walked away another audience member told us of her long and continuing battle with cancer. Not only did this inspire us more, but it made both my friend and me realize what fools we had been. I write this email to thank Our Lady of Grace, Mary Miller, and all those beautifully talented children for reminding an old woman what it is that Jesus expects of us and how love should lead the way. Love certainly led the way last night and it is my hope it will for a long time to come.

Ethel Martin

Weekly HOMILY for July 15, 2007: The Secret of the Good Samaritan -- Feeing, Feeling, and Doing

15th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Cycle C
Our Lady of Grace
July 15, 2007

The Secret of the Good Samaritan: Seeing, Feeling, and Doing
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Hurry

Several years ago, Yale University did a study on what they called the “Good Samaritan” responses of the students.

The students were divided into three groups. Each group was told to report to another building across the campus to take a test.

The first group was told to get there immediately and they were called the “high hurry” group. The second group was told to get there in fifteen minutes and they were called the “middle hurry” group.

And the third group was told to get there sometime that morning and they were called the “no hurry” group. Without knowing it, the students had been set up.

Along the way, various individuals posed as persons in need. One was crying, one pretended to be sick, and a third had a flat tire.

Interestingly, none of the students in the “high hurry” or “middle hurry’ groups stopped to help anyone. But every student in the “no hurry” group did stop.

Yale University concluded that as the hurry in our lives increases, our caring decreases. Does that ring true in your own experience?


The Questions: Jesus and the Lawyer

The Yale Study can help us break open God’s Word.

The Gospel story says that a student of the Law, probably a lawyer, asks Jesus: “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” He seems to be taking a legalistic approach to religion.

He is really asking: “What do I have to do and what don’t I have to do?” It is something like us asking if the Wedding Mass we’re at on early Saturday afternoon “counts” as our Sunday Mass.

Notice that Jesus responds to the lawyer by asking two questions. “What is written in the Law? And how do you read it?”

Certainly, the man must have known what was written in the Law and, in fact, he states it. “Love God and love your neighbor.”

But Jesus is also trying to get this man in touch with how he, within himself, understands the Law and that’s why he further asks,“How do you read it?” We know that the man offers no response to that at all.

Instead, he comes back to Jesus with another question. “Who is my neighbor?”

Once again, the fellow seems legalistic. He is really asking: “Who is and who is not my neighbor?”

And it’s at this point that Jesus tells the famous parable of the Good Samaritan.


Seeing, Feeling, Acting

Let’s look at this story a bit more carefully.

What seems to set the Good Samaritan apart from the Priest and the Levite is that he has three things going on inside himself: (1) He sees the beaten man, (2) He feels for the beaten man, and out of these two actions, (3) He acts to help the beaten man.

In contrast, the Priest and the Levite only see. They see the man lying beaten on the road. It’s only the Samaritan who moves from “seeing” to “feeling compassion” and eventually, “acting on it.”

The Yale University Study would tells us that we only need to slow down enough to be able to see, to really see, so that compassion can whelm up within us and so we can then act on it.

This ability to have compassion for another who is hurting or in need whelm up from within us is a divine quality and it’s already planted within us. It’s what makes us most like God. And when we respond like God, of course, we are closer to eternal life.

This is why Jesus tells this story in response to the lawyer’s question of “What do I have to do to inherit eternal life?” The Samaritan feels compassion and then acts on this feeling.

We can think of many reasons why not to act out of compassion: we’re too busy or we can’t help everyone or it’s too risky.

However, if we take the time to see, the Yale Study says we maximize the opportunity to be most God-like.


Who We Are as Persons

I close with one last insight. At the end of the parable Jesus asks, “Who was [or acted as] neighbor” to the man in need? This is a crucial question.

The ultimate moral norm, the ultimate norm of morality, is: what kind of person do I become if I do or don’t do something?

Being slow and attentive enough to see, to feel compassion and to act will shape who we are as a person.

They make us a neighbor. They make us God-like persons and that is the ultimate and absolute norm of moral living.

The first step is taking the time to see and that will make all the difference in the world!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Weekly MESSAGE for July 8, 2007: Back from Sunny Italy

July 5, 2007

Focus: Back from Sunny Italy

Dear Friend,

After two weeks in Italy it is good to be back in the old USA.

My first week was spent studying at the Vatican with a group of 15 priests who were on sabbatical there ten years ago. We had speakers on the topics of Grace, Eucharist and Morality. It was an extremely enlightening week. The high point for me came when I was asked to be the main celebrant in the crypt of St. Peter’s Basilica over the very tomb of St. Peter.

The second week was spent touring towns on the Adriatic and in the Province of Tuscany. From Rome we joined up with some lay friends and the 18 of us drove to Assisi, Pesaro, Rimini, Loretto, San Marino, Bologna, Montecatini, Florence, San Gimignano, Sienna and finally back to Rome. I would have to say that the highlight of this leg of the trip was to see the actual house of the Blessed Virgin Mary transported from Nazareth to Loretto by the Angelini Family to save it from desecration by the Moors.

My week back has been very busy with four funerals and lots of pastoral care. It was a memorable time away.

Fondly,
Father Nick Amato

Weekly THIS AND THAT for July 8, 2007: Christians -- By Maya Angelo

This and That:
Christians – By Maya Angelo

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”
I’m whispering “I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... “I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow!

You might share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as reinforcement. But more importantly, share this with those who do not have a clear understanding of what it means to be a follower of the Lord. There is a myth that Christians think they are “perfect” or “better” than others.

Fondly,
Father Nick Amato

Weekly HOMILY for July 8, 2007: Being a Person of Peace

14th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Cycle C
Our Lady of Grace
July 8, 2007

Being a Person of Peace
By (Rev. Msgr.) Nicholas P. Amato


Conflict

I imagine that most of us have found ourselves in conflict with another person at some point in our lives.

I have to believe that each of us, myself included, has been in conflict with a friend, a spouse, a parent, a son or daughter, an employer or employee. Such conflicts are part of the human condition.

They are inevitable in the course of human relationships. Sometimes, these conflicts get very heated and we feel very angry.

Sometimes there are hurtful words and even hurtful actions.

The key question is: how can we maintain or re-establish a sense of peace both within ourselves and with the other person in these conflicts?


Being Peaceful

In today’s Gospel, Jesus is sending the disciples out to announce the Kingdom of God.

He says: “Into whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this household.’ If peaceful persons are there, your peace will rest on them.”

Apparently, peace or peacefulness – both within ourselves and within our relationships –is central to God’s presence and message. And so, we must ask: “What is involved in being a peaceful person?”

“What is involved in being persons who want to be at peace with others?” This evening (morning) I would like to share some ideas that are based on my own life experience.

I find that when I pay attention to these, they help me to get hold of myself and do what I can to maintain or re-establish peace. Let’s call these six stepping stones to peace.


Six Stepping Stones to Peace

Number 1: Take time to pray, reflect and get some distance. Some people would simply say: count to ten before saying or doing anything.

I would say that it is an important thing to draw the Lord into the conflict through prayer. This enables us to get hold of ourselves, to put things in perspective, and to allow the power of God to actually assist us.

Number 2: Respond; do not react. There is a big difference between the two.

When we react, we quickly, often without thought, act on what has happened and we may do this on a purely emotional level. However, when we respond, we act from what is best within us – from the kind of person God wants us to be and the kind of person we ourselves really want to be.

Number 3: Be willing to talk and to listen. Perhaps after a cooling-off period, we might invite the other person to talk together.

Or, on the other side, be willing to accept an invitation to have a conversation and do this face to face, in person.

Number 4: The adage holds true, if we don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Do not demonize the other person or make them out as all bad.

Be tempered and balanced. Make sure we see the good, the positive thing in the other person and tell say this.

Number 5: Acknowledge that there are some things I am not good at. Admiting a mistake I may have made that contributed to the problem goes a very long way.

Once again, the use of cooling-off or distance or prayer may be essential for me to have the insight and willingness to do this, but, doing this is crucial in peacemaking.

And Number 6: As a general rule in life, say “Please,” “Thank you,” “Excuse me,” things like that. Say these things to those close to us, particularly to people whom we are prone to take for granted.

And say these things to people at work, to people we do not even know, or even people who have offended us. Theses expressions create a peaceful atmosphere and lead to peaceful persons and relationships.


Conclusion

So, having the peace of the Lord within us, bringing that to others, allowing others to bring it to us – all of this is central to being a disciple of the Lord.

It is central to spreading the Kingdom of God on this earth.

It is central to becoming the kind of persons that God is calling us to be.